Yup it's Sunday. I don't usually put myself in front of the computer on Sundays but seeing as I am at my parent's house for Father's day...inevitably I am gravitated to get online. I am in an especially dark mood today...lingering from Friday.
The burning question on my mind; how could I be so wrong AGAIN? Maybe it's not even being wrong that is the most painful but being so easily won over is the killer. As I go through the events...I think any woman in my shoes would have fallen for the scoop as I did.
I just read an article in the McLean's mag this afternoon. It was based on an interview with a Professor at U of T. He has written a book based on the social, political, cultural aspects of being single in today's western civilization. As much as I would like to think that I am for the most part a non-conformist...it is very clear to me that when it comes to the traditionalism of getting married...I fall right in line. Do I want to get married? Yes! Is that because I grew up with this being apart of my up bringing? Perhaps! Is it because I am the ultimate sucker for love stories... albeit Hollywood bulls***t? Partially! I think the point this Professor was trying to make is that being single has stigma to it....if you are single, there is something wrong with you. His reply and one that I am seriously going to consider and wrap my head around was this; being single is not a bad deal. In fact, it is a position that really needs to be embraced. Statistics say that the population of single people seriously exceeds that of couples. I can believe it. I know way too many people who are in difficult times with their partners. But....I thought that was normal. I guess I know now...that it doesn't have to be this way. Maybe marriage and long term relationships are no longer sustainable in today's culture. I don't know!
What I do know is that I was doing great with my single life. I managed my detached emotional stance with pride and glory. I was with my A game and I never got hurt. I was in control and I loved it. Of course I got a ton of negative feedback from friends and family.....the typical feedback one gets when the stereotype of single hood is one that is shunned. Being called a man eater or a player or promiscuous, all seriously derogatory remarks....suggest that I have no respect for myself. I hate that I have to defend my actions. What about the people who are in relationships that are stuck in an environment of grief, loathing and resentment because they are complacent and stagnant? Don't they have a responsibility to stand up for themselves and take action to better their lives? It really is a hit or miss man. I could tell you about the healthy relationships that I do know of. In the same discussion I could tell you that being single and happy is possible.
Here's my Gemini dilemma; love being single...having the time of my life with it vs. meeting the man of my dreams (Ha!!! I hear that that is a farce of a dream!) and getting married. The former being most practical...is my re-established goal.
As much as I am at an equilibrium between both sides of my soul...realization matched with practicality will preserver.
To quote a very awesome song that I happen to love.....Muse's Uprising
"They will not force us
And they will stop degrading us
And they will not control us
We will be victorious, so come on"
More power to the singles out there!
xo P
