YUCK!!!!

Am I thankful this weekend is over? Absolutely!!! Ugggghhhh....I still feel yucky about it! Friday night I had to work, nothing eventful there. Saturday was a special day all around. Sunday was about trying to forget about Saturday. Good times....NOT!

Due to the events that occurred on Saturday, my plan of action for the day repeatedly changed. I am not going to get into what was supposed to happen and what took place that changed my whole plan. I am just going to say this....the final outcome was less than satisfactory. In fact, it was BRUTAL!!!! I would share with you what actually transpired...but I honestly get sick to my stomach during the reflection. So forget about that!

Once again, please forgive the ambiguity.

This is a big week. Lots happening! Tonight I have to work. I wish I didn't have to. I would love nothing more than to go with my nephew trick or treating. He is going to be a firefighter. I already saw a picture of him in his outfit....the cutest thing EVER!!! I get to see of my bff's on Wednesday....YAY!!!! Miss her terribly! Get to see another one of my bff's on the weekend. Miss her tons too! The rest of the time is all about work! Work work work!! Good times!!!

Could really use a vacation!!! Uggghhhh! xo P

Coincidence? Fate? Destiny?

Hmmmm!!!! I am supersitious. I do believe in fate. I feel like coincidence is the nucleus of something greater. Maybe I am just a typical woman who wants to believe that things happen for a reason. I don't care either way!

The stream of events that have occured and are occuring as we speak are just too FRIGGIN CRAZY!!!!!

In fact...my jaw has fallen to the floor and I am seriously struggling to get my composure. I kind of just want to scream out loud! I can feel vibrations through my body and it isn't as a result of anything intoxicating.

It is taking me a very long time to write this blog. WICKED ADD!!!!

Ok...I need to focus....be serious for a minute!!!! I really can't get into the details right now. I really really wish I could but in my gut I know that I just need to ride this out first.

Let's just say this; either the world is testing me with yet another lesson about life or my angels are throwing me a bone. I won't know for awhile yet.

Forgive my ambiguity. Ugggghhhh, this has been the least productive blog I have ever written. I have so so so much to say and can't say are darn thing.....grrrr!!! Don't take it personal....no one gets to hear my thoughts right now. Not even....I was going to say my mom.....but I am for sure going to tell me my mom....and that's it!

Have a great weekend world!!! Catch you on the flip side! xo P

So much love!

Life is good! Scratch that....life is great!!

I was never one to have major complaints even when things were supremely brutal. I have always had a great life. I just made some really bad decisions that complicated matters and of course...I was my own worst enemy. Things have changed. I guess that is part of getting older, wiser and smarter.

Since I have moved out on my own, my life has been incredible. I literally wake up smiling and go to bed smiling. I am thankful for everyday and everyday I say my thanks to the universe for being so kind to me and for its generosity.

I know I have expressed a number of times that I have many angels present in my life. I will say Thank You to them. But...today, I want to say Thank You to my many dear dear friends. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! I was in the presence of 2 of them last night. They are a couple and the guy has been a close friend of mine for 5 years. His girlfriend has become a close friend of mine over the past couple years. She is absolutely delightful. I went downtown to meet them for dinner. I haven't seen them since April for her birthday. For 2.5 hours...we were catching up, having laughs and celebrating his birthday as well as their engagement. SO EXCITING!!!! I am beside myself with joy and happiness that they are getting married. Again....so exciting!!! I was driving home and thinking....how lucky am I to have friends like these? How lucky am I to have all the friends that I do have? I am truly the happiest and luckiest person alive.

Today I want to say....THANK YOU to all of you who enrich my life with your friendships. I am touched and full of gratitude for sharing yourselves with me. I love you all dearly!!!

I also want to take a minute here to wish the most important person on the planet a Happy Birthday....

MOM....Happy Birthday!!! You have been a pillar of stability and strength in my life. I am the person I am today because of you! You are my peace and my power. I love you more than words can say!!

I hope you have a brilliant day!!!

xo P

I love today!

Why do I love today?

First of all, I don't have to work at the bar tonight. One night off.....YAY!!!!

Yesterday....one of the 2 appointments was to go to the dentist. It had been 2 years since my last visit. I was overdue...obviously! I was a little worried to hear what they would tell me. 2 years is a bit of a long time. To my surprise they said; good work! Your teeth are in great shape. YAY!!! Of course after poking and prodding for 1.5 hours...my mouth, teeth, gums were sore last night. I thought it would carry on to today...but all is well! Thankfully!

I woke up this morning at a decent hour knowing that the first event to my day was a workout with my absolutely amazing trainer. Now...usually I am super excited about this however as of late, the past 4 days...my neck and back have been seriously bothering me. I could have for sure worked out anyways but....seeing as I am in the state of mind of caring for my body, I made an executive decision to get a massage rather than do a workout. Thankfully, my trainer is an angel in both departments. Not only a kick ass trainer but also a registered massage therapist. Yes....I have won the lottery with this woman. LOVE HER!!! So...off for a massage I go! LOL!!! I already know my back and neck are totally messed up...so that is no surprise to me. Now....to my trainer.....ha! She said I need more treatment ASAP!!! I got off the table and immediately felt better. I can't describe it. I feel like my upper body is in a constant state of flex. Because this has been the way for YEARS....to relax my shoulders and in turn my upper body muscles is very difficult. I have to make a conscious decision to relax my shoulders. Even now....right this minute.....uggggh!!! Whatever! I am 31 years old....having been dealing with this shit since I was 6 years old. I am seriously debating putting some contraption around my torso that will force me to have better posture, keep my shoulder blades together and in turn relaxing my neck and shoulder muscles. Does anyone know of anything like this? I think if someone were to invent such a thing....they would be BILLIONAIRES!!! Just saying!

I get to see a dear dear friend of mine tonight. It has been WAY TOO LONG since I have seen him last. Just trying to reflect on that right now actually....it was back in April for his gf's bday party...almost 6 months. BRUTAL! So I am picking him up from his work and then we are heading to the Danforth for dinner. His fabulous girlfriend will be joining us there when she is done with her bootcamp. You go girl!

Between now and then, I have much to do! With that said; peace, love and rock n roll to all! xo P

Uggghhhh.....why do I torture myself????? MASOCHIST!!!

So...I had a couple errands to do today. Both of them were relatively close to each other and by that I mean...neighbouring cities; Woodbridge and west Toronto...lol!

Seeing as I had a very small breakfast before my first appointment, I was starving on my way to the next appointment. Now; I usually try to find an appropriate drive by food concession....but this time I was totally out of time and had to haul ass....which meant I had to go with convenience; McDonald's!!! UGGGHHHHHH!!!!! I know it is poison to my body....I absolutely know this! GRRRR!!!

So I am munching on nuggets and heading to my next appointment. Was there for about 20 minutes before leaving to get home in time for a nap. Ha!!! I was told of a super quick way to conquer the city and naturally I took it. Ha again! I was told that it would take me only a few minutes to get to the highway and in actuality it took me 30 minutes. Then...I discovered I couldn't even get on the highway which meant I would be driving inner city streets bombarded with construction. BRUTAL!!! I finally reach the 427 and feel an very odd pain in my gut. Odd in the sense that it is NOT normal but not that scary because I have endured it before....once! LOL There is traffic but it is moving so I stay calm and collected. I now am at QEW and have figured out that things are getting bad...fast. I can  feel and hear gurgles in my gut....bad sign! Its getting bad and of course....bumper to bumper traffic. I am white fisting it and squeezing my entire body in the hopes that I don't lose control. LMAO!!! I think I had my angels with me cause they were guiding me through pretty well. I made up my mind to hit up a coffee joint that was on route to my house. I really really didn't want to go there because I suspected that if I even try to vacate the car....it will be a bad scene. So....I continue on to my house. I am in tears and my body is hating my guts but I persevere....had to! I finally made it home and into my house...safely and without any accidents. HEAVEN!!!

I think I have learned this lesson for the last time....NO MORE MCDONALDS.....EVER!!!!

xo P

Oh Mondays!!!!

Seeing as I had a pretty active weekend...I seem to struggle with Mondays. I managed to have a relaxed morning but still have a bit of anxiety knowing that I have a full gear afternoon and night. Uggghhh! Not to mention, I woke up sore...as if I had done a killer workout with my trainer the day before. My neck muscles and shoulder muscles are so sore. I feel like I was super stressed during my sleep...dreaming and now....feel super tense. Could really use a massage!!!

Maybe it is knowing that my bed is broken...and could very well crumble beneath me. I had a vision before I went to bed; there I am sleeping, I roll over and....CRASH! Can you imagine waking up to that? Ugghhhh BRUTAL!!! So...yup....slept stressed out!

I have my orientation today with my brokerage. Super excited about this! I can not wait to get into my business but before I do...I have to spend a pile of money pay fees to all sort of associations, boards etc. I have been told many times as of late; "it costs money to make money"! Ain't that the truth! YUCK!

Looking forward to a super busy week and weekend. I have to find a costume before Saturday. This is stressing me out! I have to buy a bed frame and wardrobe STAT....this is stressing me out! I have to spend a pile of money in the next 2 weeks....my budget is dwindling down fast. This is stressing me out! GRRR!!! Need to de-stress...ASAP!!! Granted going shopping is fun and could ease my pain a bit. Knowing that it won't take long to recoup my money...is sort of easing the stress and lastly...I am meeting up with a dear dear friend of mine on Wednesday for some catch up plus his bday celebration. Thankful for the highlights!

Happy Monday folks! xo P

Correction

LOL....Hey there world! So...I have to touch on yesterday's blog because one of my customers, who reads my blog corrected me last night on an integral element.

Yesterday, I think the bottom line sentiment was that I get a lot of love because I have a 'polished' look. LMAO!! My customer says this:

"Polished? Ya right! This is the Shore...do you think we give a shit about being polished? It's all about tits and ass with a smile baby!!"

To which I reply:

I knew this....but was trying to pretend that this wasn't the case. I live in bubble that I constructed and in this bubble, it sounds and looks better to say that people (The Shore) are being enthralled by my classiness (LOL) rather than my endowments. DO YOU REALLY NEED TO BURST MY BUBBLE?

Coming back to my reconstructed bubble....

Happy Friday world! Feeling pretty great today! Had an awesome night last night working. Sort of really love my job at the bar! I am still pleasantly surprised that things are so different from last year. LOVE IT! Have a bit of a chill day, although I do have to do some house cleaning. Its cool though! This weekend will be pretty lax. Tomorrow is my day of rest. Will wake up to look after the turd and then will spend all day relaxing. Tomorrow night I will get hammered....because it is the one night that I can and Sunday I have a photo shoot; taking my professional pics for my business cards and other marketing materials.....AHHHHHHHHHHH....a little bit exciting. Plus, I get to spend some time with one of my bffs....who is my photographer. Double awesomeness!

Rock n Roll folks! xo P

Can we say Rock Star?

I have to be perfectly frank with you...

I think part of the reason why I love working at the bar is because I get so much love it is bordering ridiculous. LOL!! I was asked out 5 times last night. That is relatively typical. With the amount of compliments and men professing their love for me...how can one not love that? LOL! I promise...it isn't going to my head. I believe that part of the reason I get so much love is because I dress nice, wear make-up, look polished, have all my teeth and stand apart from all the other women not to mention there aren't too many latina ladies in that primarily anglo hood. Of course my charm, wit and general good aura play a role as well.

Here is something to discuss....

There was a team of 3 that came in last night; 2 of them were young....younger than me and one was older. One of the younger ones approached me several times asking me to give his friend (the older one) a chance by giving him my number and talking to him. My reply was: ARE YOU SERIOUS? What are we...in grade 5? First off let me say, I know their ages because I checked their IDs. The 'older' one is 33. I am sorry, if you can't approach a woman yourself....you are shit out of luck. This is what I told the young one. I am not sympathetic to dudes who don't have the courage to go and talk to a woman and instead send their underlings. NO DICE!!! Of course this didn't illicit a pleasant response from the young one. I get that the older one has a complex...being 5' tall and all...but I would find it much more honorable for him to man up and say something himself. He still wouldn't have gotten anywhere...but at least he tried. I try to apply the same rule in my life...take a risk. Of course it may not work out...but at least you tried!

I hope I don't sound like a heartless mean person...but I have learned this lesson myself. I have for sure put myself out there just to get rejected...MANY TIMES!!! But am I really going to stand down and carry a perpetual sense of defeat? NO WAY!! If anything...it makes you stronger, harder, tougher and more of a go getter, almost relentless. I prefer it like that! I am actually thankful for all the rejections and put downs. If I hadn't suffered the way I did growing up...I don't think I would be who I am today. I realize it is important to be sensitive to one's issues, I totally acknowledge this. However...when it comes to the dating world, I believe there really isn't any room for a lack of conviction. Maybe this is only existing my bubble of a world. Who knows! Food for thought!

Well folks...it is Thursday. Tonight is Karaoke night....YAY!!! I have to seriously bust ass tonight. Need to kill it so that I make as much as I can in tips. I finally got my hydro bill...my first one since I have moved in 3 months ago and it is a douzy. Uggggh!!! Not to mention I have a dentist appointment next week and I don't have a health plan. This is a major money spending month.

Till tomorrow folks xo

OH YA BABY....

Finally....I feel like a Lady again. It is such a treat to get your hair done....cut! I missed my bangs terribly. Now....I have them back!!! YAY!!!! It really makes a lot of difference you know? A polished look....is the look to have...at least in my world!

So folks...as much as I am giddy about my hair being in fine form....it was at the expense of not sleeping. I worked until 3am this morning and was in bed by 3:30am. I had to wake up at 8:30am to get ready for my hair appointment. Ugggghhhhh.....5 hours sleep? YUCK!!! A little...no...a lot tired which means only one thing....I have to have a nap before work tonight. Yuppers!

So...while I was getting my hair did...lol....my hairdresser, who is a rock star by the way, invited me to her Halloween party at the end of the month. I have known this girl for many many years. The chiquita who coloured my hair...also a rock star, will also be at this party and I have also known her for many years. I have decided to go!!!! Now....apparently a costume is mandatory. EKKKK!!! WTF am I going to do? I am not your typical go getter when it comes to Halloween. I find getting a costume and dressing up to be a bit of a task that I am not all the motivated to fulfill. However, I am adamant about going to this party to have some fun with these ladies....so I will have to put my creative hat on....and come up with a costume. Any ideas? Hmmmm!!!

I am in some wicked pain today, specifically in my bum region and upper legs. My trainer kicked my ass yesterday...why? Because I pay her too! LMAO!! I am struggling to walk and wearing platform wedges probably isn't helping much....meh....the price we pay to look fabulous! I figure....one day I won't be able to wear pumps....have to man up right now and tough it out!

Alright....I need to focus and accomplish some things today! Peace out world! xo P

WHAT A MONTH!!

October....full of birthdays! Birthdays galore! I know I mentioned this already but I was just on facebook and was reminded how many more there are. What is it about February that entices procreation? Granted it is friggin cold out and all you want to do is stay in....and apparently have lots of sex!!! My goodness!

Happy Birthday to all of my Libra/Scorpio friends and family! Love you all!!!

I had a fabulous family dinner last night, celebrating my sister's and cousin's birthday. It is always such a treat to see him and his fiance. Love them dearly!!!

Today is a big day for me. Going to have a meeting with my soon-to-be broker at RE/MAX. Sort of nervous and sort of excited all at once. I am ready!!! Let's do it! LOL

After that meeting I am doing a workout with my fabulous trainer.....and then....it's off to work I go!!! Busy and long day today! It is all good though. I need the money. Just got my first Hydro bill......uggggghhh! Granted it is 3 months worth of usage plus the deposit....but that is still a pile of money man. YUCK!!! Bills.....brutal!

Well folks....have to work!!! Till tomorrow xo P

NERD!!!

Ok....so I can't deny that I have been a loser as of late. Not blogging last Friday was out of pure laziness. On Thursday I spent 2 hours going door to door handing out newsletters. This was followed by a super intense workout with my trainer, then I had to work 8 hours at the bar. I woke up on Friday unable to move my body. I was couch bound for most of the day until dinner time at which point I went out with my sister and mom for Thai. MMMMMMM...YUMMY!!! LOL

No excuses!!!

As you can see....I started off my weekend well. A day of rest followed by an awesome dinner. Saturday had a bunch of errands to run before I had to go to work. My shift at the bar was pretty great. Sunday....the highlight for Sunday was the baby shower for my bff....the one that got married this summer. Great turn out....great snacks, great wine....lol....and great company. I have to tell you....I love these events. I hate that it takes an event to gather this group together. I wish there were more events...with that said! As much as I am still on the fence as to whether I will ever have children....at the rate I am going....I am still taken aback by how cute baby stuff is. Uggghhh!!! At one point I just wanted to steal some of the clothes....use them for Choochoo...and keep the blankets and rubber duckies for myself!!! LMAO Good times! In the evening....another bff came over to hang out and watch movies. So great!

All in all....ready for a busy but great week. I have to go and deliver more newsletters when I am done here....but tonight will be birthday celebrations for my sister and cousin....with the whole fam! LOVE IT!!!

In terms of juicy gossip....2 weeks to go for the Canada's Got Talent results! Ugggh!!!!

Peace out! xo P

Smiling!!!

I think I woke up smiling. I had an amazing dream last night. Can't get into it with you because it would take forever to get it all out on here. Very long dream.....too much detail. I slept for 10 hours.....totally needed it! If the movie Inception had any credible material....5 minutes in real life accounts for 10 hours in the dream world.....oy....that comes out to 120 hours of dreaming. WOW!!!! LOVED IT!!! Only sometimes of course!

So ya....smiling I am!!! Hit up Tim Horton's this morning for a coffee on my way to my mom's....had the little turd with me of course. There were about 5 ladies cooing over him...makes me laugh! He IS the cutest darn thing EVER!!!!

Just have to interject with something here; I am thankful everyday for my life. I actually verbalize it as much as I can. But today....I am extra thankful. It is a great day!!! Thank you world and angels!

I am going to be getting a double workout today. YAY!! It could actually be a bad idea because I have to work tonight....but I have tomorrow off...so I can sleep in!!! LOVE IT! LOL  I am helping my mom deliver her newsletters. Will be doing that, going door to door for a couple hours once I am done with my blog and then...I have a workout with my kick ass trainer at 3pm. Haven't seen her in about 2 weeks. She went on a MUCH needed vacation!!! Can't wait to see her!

Just a thought....has anyone ever read the book series by Janet Evanovich? She writes about a female bounty hunter. She has a book for every number, eg; One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to get Deadly....and so on! She has about 16 books in this series. If you haven't.....but have seen the movie Domino with Kira Knightly and Mickey Rouke....then you get the concept. In both the movie and the books....there is a character (known by different names in each media) that has always caught my attention. In the movie he is Choco...a Latino hard ass bounty hunter. FRIGGIN SEXY and wicked cool! I forget his name in the book....it escapes me right now. My whole point to this is this....I have a customer at the bar who is a replica of the Choco character in the movie. He is not Latino....but it is uncanny the resemblance...in every way. He is a little bit more demure than the movie character....he doesn't kill or hurt people for a living. I think if you were to just look at him....you would understand! I can't help but laugh....in the books the main character...the female bounty hunter has a major crush on this guy....but because he is so so so special...they could never be together instead she hooks up with a cop. Ha! GREAT BOOKS, GREAT MOVIE!!!

Well folks....gots to go!!! Peace out! xo P

Goodbye gray hair!!!!

Yay.....NO MORE GRAY HAIR!!!! Thank you to my kick ass hair colourist. LOVE IT!!!! It is such a treat to see my hair as it is meant to be...sans gray!!! I did come to the realization that by the time I am 50...I could very well be TOTALLY gray or more like platinum white. I may actually have to roll with the punches and sport that look too. Ok....this is a depressing thought...moving along!

I am exhausted but who cares....my waking up early to get my hair coloured is well worth the sacrifice...not to mention, I don't work tonight so I can totally veg out and get couch bound. LOVE IT!!!

Next is a hair cut....which will happen next week. Things are coming around slowly but surely. So thankful for that!

So...Mr. Fabulous and I are still chatting randomly. I am no longer enraged by the termination of our relationship. He asked if I would entertain having dinner with him to celebrate my success with getting my real estate license. I am debating. I am in a good head space to go ahead and catch up with him....but am also not interested arguing or getting upset...again! Not too sure if it is too soon or if I am actually ready to see him. Part of me definitely wants to go ahead and another part of me isn't totally sure. Hmmmmm!!!! I can totally let bygones be bygones. I am totally confident with my decision to end things and will stand by it 100%. I guess the one vision that I have that is stopping me is...if he ends up explaining or justifying himself or defending his actions or he tries to convince me that he can make it work. This will totally piss me off and then I see arguments. Hmmmm!!!! Maybe I am not ready yet!

I am about to go and do some retail therapy with mom. YAY!!!

Have a great hump day! xo P

Happy Tuesday.....

It is a short week....for those of you who didn't work on Monday. I had to work last night...but I have to tell you....that as much as standing on your feet for 8 hours bartending and working away...is only a chore sometimes. I have really come to love working at my bar and I have come to love my customers. It is a pleasure going to work...even if I am visited by some hooligans or are shafted by the non-tippers. Ce la vie!! Right?

I trust that you all had an amazing weekend. I did! Busy, full of action and good times. Started out with a celebration cocktail with my mom and her bff. From there went to my sister's for dinner and then went to my bff's go away party. Ugggghhhh, drank too much! Saturday morning had breakfast with the boys (my bff and his bff..lol) and then....I did absolutely nothing until I had to work that evening. Sunday was my Thanksgiving dinner with the family. So so so great! Too much food by a long shot. Was in a food coma after round 2. Didn't even have room for desert....totally unlike me! Then I was locked into a horizontal position for the rest of the night. That leads us into yesterday where I spent the morning with another one of my bffs...made her breakfast and shot the shit. From there I went to watch a movie with my sister all before I had to work. VERY BUSY!!! I think I need a day off from the busy-ness. LOL!!!

Well folks...tomorrow is day one of two in getting my hair done!!! AHHHH....it is about friggin time! I have changed hair salons so this will be a new but old adventure. I went there years ago. Tomorrow is colouring time. Next Wednesday will be cutting time. Sad to have to do it in 2 episodes but whateves. Take it where I can get it!!!

I have a lot to do this afternoon....so I am going to cut this short. Peace and love to all! xo

Confession!

I am in a bit of a special mood today. I should be jumping for joy and exploding with positive energy. Today is a gorgeous day and with the warm weather, great news, party events planned....I have no reason to be down and emotional.

I can't explain what I am going through. With having had the morning to think about what it is that I am feeling...all I can come up with is that my state is based on a feeling of being overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by life. Everything is in order. I don't understand.

I got some pretty awesome news today; I passed my real estate exam. I didn't dare look at the grade myself. I couldn't bring myself to look. My dear dear friend that was in the program with me called me up today. He was waiting to hear from me.....so that we could celebrate together...our accomplishments. I told him....I didn't want to look. I couldn't look! I was terrified of failure. Terrified in the worst way. He said he would look. He did! I passed!! He really was excited for the both of us. I cried!! I am crying! I think because I failed the first time....I was defeated and there was so much pressure to succeed this time. I am the only one who put this much pressure on myself. What if I had failed? I had just blocked out the notion of passing and failing altogether...that when I finally got the results...I was just overcome by emotion. I am 31 years old. I need to succeed at this. I need to be great at something and I want more than anything for this to be what I am great at! There isn't anymore room for doubt or wasting time.
For those of you who know me well...you know that I present myself with honesty, integrity and CONFIDENCE! Well...that isn't false or misguided. But you have to remember I am a Gemini and the other side of me....is a scared, worried, stressed out and I think....I am low in the confidence department...at least with anything that is new and unfamiliar.

I did drink more than I could handle the night before last. Maybe the booze is still fogging my brain. I watched a movie this morning called Tetro. So beautiful, sweet and sad all at once. It was shot in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I am totally head over heels in love with that country. I think having woken up with a headache...a continuation from yesterday's hangover, having watched that movie that melted my heart, hearing the news of my passing grade and finally....having to face that one of my bffs is moving away to British Columbia...all combined is burdening my heart/soul and mind. I would say I need a drink...but that might not be a great idea. Ahhhh....screw it!!! Going for a drink!!!

Peace out y'all!! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you...please be safe in all that you do!! xo P

Over did it!!!

Good day world! How are you? Great? Good to hear....lol!!

I am doing well considering. I drank a bit (a lot) too much last night. I was visiting with one of my bffs and whenever I get together with this girl....we always end up going balls to the wall. We started the evening off with some wine and pizza....mmmmm!!!! Once the food was done....we hit up a micky of Southern Comfort which was gone in almost 15 minutes. Shot for shot!!!

This was maybe a little bit silly because we did have all the intentions in the world to go out to a bar for last call... but that did not happen!! I don't really remember the end of the night. This morning I was awoken by a piercing headache which meant only one thing....I was for sure going to be hugging the porcelain bowl. I did....twice!!! Ughhhhh!!! After that...went back to bed. When I got up the next time...I was in better form. I did promise my bff that I would cook her breakfast...but that was not going to happen after all. So I did the next best thing...got take out breakfast. Mmmmmm!!!!

It took me a few hours to gather myself to face the world today but I managed and here I am. Feeling alive again!!!! Perfect timing because I need to have my game face for tonight's shift at the bar....KARAOKE night!!! YAY!!! LOVE IT!

Well folks...that's all I got for today!!! Till tomorrow! xo

BRIEF!!! Sorry!

I really wanted to talk about some issue that I am dealing with that resulted in an episode today...but I am going to take the high road and keep it to myself. Why? Because I think and feel like if I expose it...it may come to bite me in the ass.

So...now....what to write?!!!

I have so so so much on my mind that I can't focus on one item. Ugghhhh!!

Here's one; I am having dinner with a bff that went MIA for awhile. She is back on the scene. Of course...her being MIA was as a result of a minor fallout between us. Tonight will be about getting clarity and hopefully conquering our issues....lol!!!

I am feeling a little flustered. I am desperate to get my hair done. I am getting incredibly agitated with my gray hairs that are taking over. Ugghhhh!!! BRUTAL!!!!

At least my nails are in fine form!

I am sorry folks....its a short one today! I have to get something major done ASAP!!!

Till tomorrow xo P

It is sunny....but I am not in good spirits!

I had a bad bad bad dream last night/this morning. It started out great....I think! Then...it got very bad very fast. I was, for some reason, staying in a hotel/lodge type thing with 2 of my bffs, actually the 2 girls that I had dinner with last Saturday. Go figure! We were not too far away from my world because when shit hit the fan, I remember being close to where I needed to go.

One afternoon I had to go somewhere and I couldn't bring my dog. I left him with the girls at this lodge/cabin type thing. There was property around so that the nerd could go outside and play for a bit off lead. I feel like we had been there for awhile because I was totally confident that things would be alright in my absence which wasn't long, maybe a couple hours during the afternoon. This is where things started to get weird. I wasn't driving my car but rather a Jeep of some sort. Not a bad deal! LOL I had to go underground to get the vehicle and in order to get out, I had hustle up a VERY steep bending ramp. I was unsuccessful with my first attempt but for sure made it with the second. SO WERID!! Anyways, I do whatever it is I had to do. I can't remember that part. The next thing I do remember is coming back and walking into the lodge that was oddly dismantled. The girls were sleeping and this house looked like it had been hit by a tornado. I start to panic looking for Choochoo. In a fit of hysteria I wake up one of the girls and asked her...WTF happened? Where is Choochoo? Her reply was less than satisfactory.

I feel like the 2 had partied their asses off....but with only 2 hours to accomplish what would take most hooligans 5 hours to accomplish....and one of the girls being VERY pregnant...this was not a reasonable assumption. Never-the-less....had bigger fish to fry. WHERE THE F*** is Choochoo?  I am searching high and low and I finally find him outside in the back. I can't picture the exact situation but....when I got my hands on him....this was the most horrific part of my dream. He had been mauled by something. He had major lacerations, incredible wounds and I could tell he put up a fight by the missing teeth in his mouth. Just the image of that....is making me cry as I write this. He had a major major major laceration to his neck. It was as if someone or something put a wire nouse around his neck and almost succeeded at killing him. IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! Naturally...I freak out and panic. I bust ass getting to my car...with him...and I drive like a mad woman trying to get to my veterinarian. The hospital looks very different than what it looks like in real life. I walk in...hysterical and they take Choochoo from me.

I am not too familiar with the feeling of losing something so totally and utterly important to you. I feel like someone is ripping my heart out of my chest. It is so painful that trying to communicate this with you is upsetting me. I was so so so upset in my dream. I couldn't let them take him away...so I insisted that I go with them to hook him up to fluids, put him on meds and get him fixed up....if that was possible. I can't express to you how bad this dream was. I mean....I have had many bad/horrible/horrific/disturbing/scary/freaky/terrifying dreams. I think this one takes the cake. It wasn't losing him that was the hard part to deal with....it was what had happened to him that hurt more. He was completely mangled. I have no idea what happened to him in my dream. I woke up at the part when I was hysterical in the hospital. Not only was I totally upset about my dog being ripped to pieces...but I was sort of livid with the girls. I trusted them with my most precious possession and this is how they look after him?!!!

My dream was packed with sadness, fear, rage and anxiety. I think I need a pill or something to sooth my mind and nerves.

I hate dreaming today!

I suck!! I have no excuses!!!

I wish you could understand how affected I get when I don't post when I am supposed to! I feel like a 16 year old with a curfew and if I am late my mom is going to give me shit or ground me or both. I swear....that is exactly how I feel!!! Totally irresponsible!!! Uggghhhh!!!

What is my explanation? It is sort of valid but not really.....studying!!! I was at the computer all day. I managed to squeeze in time to dick around with facebook and yet....I totally forgot to post. I can't explain this other than being with a serious case of ADD.

Today is Monday, as I am sure you are all aware. A fresh week, a new schedule and little to no hold backs of any kind. I am no longer employed by my stepfather. This means that my daytime on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays is open. This means....no more 16 hour work days!! Yi haw!!! LOL (Forgive me if I spelt that wrong!!)  This also means more time for my future real estate business. This means I can up my game with freelance writing. This means I can get back to my 5 to 6 workouts a week. This means I can spend more quality time with my dog, taking him to the park and playing ball. This actually means a lot!!! Ugggghhhhh....I love it!!!

It is an interesting week coming and it was an interesting weekend. Friday night I had dinner with my sister, bro-in-law and nephew. What a treat! Man....I am so lucky to have them. Love you guys!!! Saturday I wrote my exam for the final phase of the real estate course to get my licence. I have NO interest in writing about that right now. From there I had to hustle to get home and tidy up for my dinner party that night. I was totally in check by the time the girls arrived. Let me say this; it was my first function at my new home. It was AWESOME! I cooked dinner people! Me.....Paula.....cooked! Can you believe it? I am still in shock myself! The girls didn't keel over and die and as far as I can tell...they are both still healthy and happy which means my cooking wasn't that bad and I didn't poison them!!! Score 1 for Paula!!! LOL Who's next????? LOL

Sunday....my official day of rest was thrown out the window...but not entirely....by having to work at the bar. It's cool though! It was by my own decision to work last night. It was cool! Plus...after spending almost 7 hours on the couch during the day watching movies with Choochoo....working was a bit of a pleasure.

And here we are.....Monday....bloody Monday!!! LOL

As soon as I am done with this blog....I am going for a workout. The fact that I just wrote that...and am continuing to write says one thing; delay delay delay!!! LOL!!!

Ok...that is it peeps!!! Chau xo P