Paula....the bouncer!

So I am not too sure what happens to some people over the holiday season, maybe they think they can be total hooligans or function with a complete lack of respect for humanity...no idea! Either way, I don't care. Their behavior is unacceptable. Over the past 3 weeks there have been 4 outbursts from customers at my bar. Each of those times I have had to get physical with these m***** f***ers! I am beyond tired of this behavior. If I tell you I am not serving you anymore and I want you to leave...the correct reaction would be to LEAVE!!! You do not fight the bartender. This is not the way to succeed at attaining your goals of either staying at the bar or getting another drink.

Last night was the last straw for me. I had 3 guys holding me back from beating the crap out of a 5'11 big guy. I did try to go to town on him. I managed to nail him in the balls but what I really wanted to do was punch him in the face. I was injured in the process of being held back. This just goes to show me how intent I was on getting this guy. I did tell my boss that I will not tolerate this anymore. In an attempt to appease me, my boss refrained from accepting the 15% that I have to tip him out at the end of each shift. Like that is going to shut me up? I think not!

I am a bit of a loss of what to do now. I can't tell you that I can keep my cool if yet another outburst occurs. I can't tell you that I will not be compelled to beat the shit out of the next person who defies my demands. Part of the reason why I am so angry is because my boss does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deal with matters. So it is either I tolerate the bad behavior, let these horrible people act out and possibly hurt or destroy someone or the bar...OR I stand up and try to deal with these assholes and remove them from the premises. The latter tends to be my choice because I refuse to let these assholes take over and show me, my boss and the bar complete disrespect.

I know I know....you are probably saying "just call the cops". Well....my friends....I tried that. They don't come to my bar unless I need an ambulance or someone has a weapon. I am sure your next thought is for us to get a bouncer. Ha...I demanded that last year when I almost got stabbed and didn't get it then. I am surely not going to get it now when all I am dealing with are drunken assholes.

I don't get it! I had 5 months of peace and fabulousness. Why now? What is happening? Is it going to last? I have to stay there for at least another month. Uggggh!!!!! Universe....send me a sign please!!!!

xo P

LOL....

I was just showing my mom pictures from Monday evening/night...lol!!! I went up north on Monday to visit my bbbff who was renting a cottage north of Collingwood for a couple weeks. I went to spend the day and night with her for her birthday. I had an amazing dinner at this cottage with her, her fiance and her family. SO GREAT! I love this family...they are so warm and kind and loving...granted I have known them for 19 years, I guess you could say they are like a second family. Once dinner was cleaned up we went right into dessert and then my bff and I had to get ready to go out at which point we would meet up with another girlfriend who was in the village (Blue Mountain) with a friend of hers. Thankfully my bff's fiance offered to be DD cause it was total annihilation for the rest of us.

We arrive at an Irish pub in the village and almost immediately discover our friends who were there waiting for us. We were sort of late and my friends definitely were not waiting for us to start the party...in fact, they were totally hammered by the time we reached them. LOL!!! All good though. Didn't take me long to catch up. Drinking double gin/tonics accompanied by shots of Southern Comfort...took no time at all! LOL So there we are....dancing, drinking, laughing and having a blast. It came to an end when a bouncer approached us and asked us to leave because one of our team members was a bit out of control, this would be my gf's friend. So we left in peace and just went to the next bar. Of course they let us in....we were one of the few people there. My team consisted of 5 people...a great addition to the 5 other people in this club. LMAO! We totally took over, asked the DJ to play our tunes (which he did) and totally rocked out!

I don't remember leaving that bar. I don't remember the car ride home. I don't remember hitting the couch and passing out. I woke up Tuesday morning still in my clothes, still wearing my winter jacket. LOL!!

I miss my bff so much it almost hurts. I know that my time with her on Monday was incredibly limited but that is ok...I get to spend this whole weekend with her and her absolutely fabulous fiance. He reminds me a little bit of my brother in law in that he is totally head over heels for his woman and is the most loving, supportive, kind, beautiful and bottom line awesome man. I can only hope that a guy like that exits for me. Now...I can safely say that the biggest and most incredible event to take place over this holiday season is my bff asking me to be her Maid of Honor. Melts my heart!!! So folks, looks like I am going to Europe on 2013. YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Peace out folks! xo P

Here we goooooooooooooooooooooooooo........!

Well...here we are folks, 2 days to go for Christmas. I am pretty darn excited about things but very slightly sad. I always remember all excitement and energy leading up to Christmas day and then you go through it and then it is as if the world flat lines. That is the kind of shitty part about Christmas...there really is an overload of passion and drive for this event and then we get to the climax that only really lasts a day and then it is over. We spend about 2 months preparing for this event and the bottom line is that it really is all about the preparation and pre-holiday cheer. Oh well...I will take that! I have been having such a great time over the past few weeks. The anticipation of seeing my friends who have come in from afar was overwhelming and is now materializing. I am having lunch with one of them in 45 minutes. Can't wait to see him. I will hopefully connect with another one on Saturday or sometime next week and then I get to see another one on Monday. Things are coming to a head! LOVE IT!

Anywho...last night was amazing minus a few events. I am not going to get into it. I just wanted to share that with each day that I work there the bond between myself and my boss and my customers grows stronger and stronger. On a sad note; my night manager/barback is leaving me...the bar! Tonight is his last night and this not only makes me sad but scared. Who will I get next? EEEKKK....pains me to think about it! I will be showing him the love for his departure. I fully intend on getting farewell balloons filled with helium so that towards the end of the night and after many drinks, I can play with the helium in those balloons...if you know what I mean!!! LOL I think I might get a cake too! We'll see!

And so...this is my last blog till Tuesday the 27th. Why? Because Monday I am heading out of town for the day/night...if things are still on cue. With that said;

Sending tons of love out to the universe. Please be safe in all that you do!!! Peace love and rock n roll! xo P

I think I have been saved!!!! Time will tell!

Can I really be so lucky? Looks like it! I have to thank my totally amazing mom once again for introducing me to another angel. This one is a chiropractor who is already on the path to saving my life.

So my mom has been seeing this guy for awhile now. Her problems are very different from mine...but thankfully her healer can and will heal me too. I went to meet him last night at 6pm. He took xrays and a scan of my spine. What I already knew was that I didn't have the curvature where the cervical vertebrae are. For those of you not totally aware of the human anatomy, the cervical vertebrae start at your brain stem and end just above your shoulders and consists of 7 vertebrae. Not having that curvature has lead to many many problems for me and for a very long time....25 years to be exact. This isn't the biggest problem! Take a look at the pic...

Where the red section is...imagine no bend there....that is me! Then at the end of the yellow section, this is where I have the most trouble. Lots of issues here. By issues I mean, because the actual vertebrae are in poor placement (known as vertebral subluxation) is why there is pressure on the nerves. As a result, the corresponding body parts that are connected to the nerves that are under pressure, they are seriously struggling. In my case, this would be my lungs, kidneys, intestines, spleen, adrenal glands and a few others. What this means is that my immune system has been compromised for a long time now, that my intestines are not functioning at full capacity and that all the other organs that I listed are not healthy. Because my body is working so hard at dealing with this is why my threshold has been exceeded and why the pain has climbed up to the next compromised location....my neck and shoulders.
FACK!!!

It's all good now though. We have found the problems and he can fix them...me! YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!

I wish you knew what this means for me! The first time I sprained my neck was when I was 6. Since then...it happens once a year and in between those events, I struggle tremendously with pain. To now know that I can mend this problem...is the biggest and best gift ever.

Gosh darn I love my mom!!!!  xo P

Feel it!

Oy....can we say pain? I did a very irregular workout with my trainer yesterday. We did a one on one zumba class mixed with some training. We would hit up 3 songs and then pick up some weights then go back to zumba and do another couple songs and then hit up the weights and so on for an hour. What we do with those weights is friggin brutal and intense...by far not my favorite but by far the most critical to shaping my body. Because we did a lot of maneuvering with weights over my head is why my neck and shoulder muscles are in some discomfort to put it mildly. My entire middle section is in pain, my arse is in major pain, my inner thighs and hams are in pain. Please don't get me wrong...I love it. Maybe not the neck pain...but the rest...love it! With all that said, trying to get out of bed this morning was an adventure as was putting on my socks, sitting on the can, driving my car...and now sitting here to write my blog....lol!!! Good times!

I am going to get my gray hairs coloured in 2 hours....SO FRIGGIN EXCITED!!!! Uggghhhh, there is nothing worse than having to look at my gray hair everyday. I might have to celebrate this occasion..lol!

Speaking of celebrating...lol...I feel like I have been doing much of it. I think it is because of the festive vibes floating around. I am in a very festive mood. I love Christmas. Last night I had an amazing night at the bar. Pulled in record sales ($$$) for a Tuesday. So great! Had a blast and felt the love from all my regulars.

OMG...Christmas is 4 days away...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Well folks, I am suffering from slight ADD today which is why I am tapping out a bit early. Happy Hump Day! xo P

This and that!

So we have 5 more days until Christmas and 6 days before I get my first real day off in AGES! I am beside myself with excitement. There is so much action happening in my world these days...I want to say I am totally exhausted...and I am but I am not going to complain about it. I asked for it and planned it this way.

I am going to see my trainer today in 2 hours and I will eliminate some lingering negative energy. I hope we do some boxing. Could really use that kind of exercise. I have no rage or anger in me...I think it is just some bad energy that needs to leave my body. I think it is from my illness a couple weeks back. Who cares! Need boxing.
I had a great night at the bar last night. My wonderful and caring boss showed me the love and gave me a bit of a bonus. Nothing major but it is the sentiment that counts. Man...I love them! I don't care one bit that Mondays and Tuesdays are slow. I don't care that I could be making more money somewhere else...I love these people and it is a second home to me now.

I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. I am getting my hair done. Away with the grays....YAY!!! I swear, aside from getting my nails done, getting my hair done is one of the most rewarding things I can do for myself. It makes you feel whole again...in some way...lol! So ya...tomorrow I will be beautiful again! Jokes!

Peace out world! xo P

Sometimes I shock myself....

Happy Monday world. I trust that everyone had a great weekend....hopefully!

I had a great weekend....thanks for asking! LOL

I had to work Friday night as always and it was awesome. I have to tell you....I really love working there. It is so so so different than last year. It has done a 180 in my eyes. LOVE IT!!! Then comes Saturday and I didn't do a whole lot because I, for once, didn't have a lot to do. This was a treat. I did have plans to have dinner at my sister's. Had a great time there...as always.

This leads us to yesterday...Sunday. What a special day. I woke up early to look after my little guy and once I am up...I am up. So I made breakfast and then watched t.v. for a bit. I decided I was still tired and went right back to bed. This is incredibly special for me because I NEVER do this. Once I woke up from that nap I checked my phone and saw that I had gotten a very special message around midnight from my friend 'Ace'....I won't repeat it. He was hammered. I called him up to thank him for that message and we decided to have a coffee so I went to his place and had a coffee. From there I went home to relax for a bit before getting ready to head out on a mission. This mission was to go and collect some money from a bartender at another bar....the one that ran out on her tab. I was pleasantly surprised by her...she apologized and gave me the money...but only after she cut me off from drinking at her bar; apparently we were too loud. Let me preface this by saying that I brought one of my bffs for moral support and we both had a few drinks (and many shots). Once cut off from that bar...we went to another bar down the street...got pulled in from a few of my regulars (from my bar) that wanted to party with me. Had a blast!!! From there we went to a pub in my hood. Much of what transpired at this bar has been lost due to the many many drinks and shots that were had. I am confident however that I had a friggin amazing time. Just found out that my bff filmed me dancing by myself...LMAO!!!!

I also happened to run in to a friend from way back in the day. He is actually the brother of my ex ex boyfriend. So odd!!!! But it was good to see him.

So last night was my Saturday night in terms of getting crazy. Loved every second of it!

Now...back to the grind! xo P

Hungry!

Ok it's Friday and I am just about to head out for some lunch with one of my bffs. LOVE IT!!! I have put in a couple hours of work and to get this kind of a break is such a treat. Granted I have to drive to Toronto and might have to deal with some ugly traffic, small price to pay to see one of my bestest girlfriends.

Speaking of best friends, my bbbbbbf is arriving from Europe on Monday...YAYYYYYY!!!! Granted I won't be able to see her prior to a week Monday...it will be heavenly either way. Uggghh...this is going to be a great Christmas/ New Year. On Wednesday I see my dear friend who's in town from B.C. and then I see another bff over next weekend who's in town from Montreal. Good times!!!

I had an amazing night at the bar last night. I was action packed and kept me very much on my toes...but I love that! Wish every night was like that. I thought I would be exhausted seeing as I had a couple drinks with lunch...I did good! Speaking of yesterday's lunch...with Re/Max head office and our 3 branches all together at the Old Mill was pretty spectacular. Met some really incredible people thanx to my mom who sort of shocked me. I guess I get my charisma from her. She is amazing with people and is such a schmoozer....who knew?!!! So great!!!

Well folks...that is all I got for today. Gots to boogie for lunch!!! Have an amazing weekend! xo P

Doesn't feel like December 15th!

Omg...it is so warm outside. I love it and don't love it all at once. It doesn't feel right...you know? Apparently it is supposed to get much colder tomorrow and the following day. GREAT! (Hint of sarcasm there!)

Yesterday was a good day. I spent a few hours with my cousin and his fiance at their place. It is always a pleasure to be with them. We had much to catch up on and much to chat about...as it turns out they are going to Montreal for New Years as well. It would be fantastic to meet up with them there. Hope it happens! From there it took me 1.5 hours to get back to my hood from Forest Hill. Uggghhh!!! I went straight to my sister's place to visit with my bro-in-law and nephew for a bit. I love my family!!! From there I went to pick up Choochoo from my mom's place and then I went home. It was a mellow day....a much needed mellow day. I had a chat with my dear dear friend who lives in B.C. I am so excited to see him next week.

So I am still struggling with the friggin cough that just won't go away. I am on day 2 of taking Benadryl cough syrup and sucking on Halls as if there was no tomorrow. Ugggghhh! I woke up this morning and I feel like I have strained muscles under my tongue from so much coughing. Not to mention, I didn't sleep well either. These cough attacks are taking over. Makes no sense to me!!!

I am all done up for this event I am going to with my mom shortly. I guess it is RE/MAX corporate holding this event for its Realtors. Should be interesting. I hope I meet some cool people. Will tell you about it tomorrow.

Well folks...that's all I got for today! xo P

That is messed up!!!

So I really only have 2 things I want to talk about today. Both of these events has left me feeling flat and concerned.

Event #1: Yesterday evening I was getting ready to go to work at the bar. There was still light out so it must have been about 5pm ish. I happened to go to my sliding door to the terrace just to check out the scene. I pull the drapes aside and immediately notice the dead carcass of a duck that probably weighed 15lbs give or take when it was alive. WTF is a dead duck doing on my terrace? Let me back that up....WTF is a duck doing in my area? I have NEVER seen a duck on my property let alone on my terrace. I put my CSI hat on and decided to investigate a little. My observations lead me to believe that this animal had been shot or maimed in some way....either it was delivered to my terrace out of a malicious act by someone or it happened to make it's way up a flight of stairs and died under my patio chair. There was a small pool of blood a foot away from it which suggests that it was alive for a bit and probably suffered. Ugghhhh....I have no idea! I was totally upset by this discovery. There was no way that I was going to remove this poor dead creature from the property...so I immediately called my stepfather to look after that. Hopefully he did! I haven't looked back there yet. EKKK!!! My heart goes out to this animal. I hope he/she is in duck heaven.

Event #2: Last night was a supremely dead night at the bar. BRUTAL! I think we sold only $200 over the 7 hours. Again...BRUTAL! It was about 8pm when one of my regulars walked in. He is a sweet man, about 45 years old...always well groomed and dressed well. He only ever drinks one Corona and then hits the road. Over the time he takes to have that drink...we manage to squeeze in some conversation. I have learned much about this man over time. He is sort of an angel in that he does what I am sure no one else would like to do for a living. Just like it takes a special person to be a surgeon or a lawyer or a vet or shit like that....it takes a VERY special person to look after the terminal cancer patients in the palliative care department. He is amazing! What makes this ironic is that he was diagnosed with terminal cancer over the weekend and was given 3 months to live. This is what he told me while drinking his Corona last night. I cried! He cried! We both cried! His girlfriend left him. His whole family is in Europe. He was telling me he wanted to pull one of the stunts that a few patients have pulled. He described a couple scenarios to me. One patient was a 37 year old business man who was loaded to the tits and could have afforded to extend his life but he chose not to and in contrast told my customer he didn't want any care whatsoever, didn't want any visitors whatsoever and no one could change his mind. He died in 7 days. My customer was describing this to me because he had intended on taking that path himself. I was livid with his commentary and ideology. I expressed my anger and explained that this was not the way to go. We chatted for a couple hours. He had 2 Coronas instead the usual one. By the end of it...after many tears and much discussion, I think I managed to convince him to quit his job and go to Europe to spend time with his family before coming back and getting into treatment. I ordered him to continue coming to see me until he was to leave on his trip to visit his family. He accepted!!! LOL

That was my day/night yesterday folks. Not the most festive day...but...I am happy I got to be an ear and a heart for some people at the bar.

xo P

Told you so.....

Yup....in a lot of pain today. I would like to say good pain....but it actually isn't. Well....part of it is. My bum, legs and waist are suffering from the good pain while my back is in pain...but a very uncomfortable pain. This is making things difficult for me today. We did do a lot of new exercises yesterday and so my body had to adjust itself accordingly. It is all good. Just going to have to take 'er easy today.

I have had this friggin persistent cough for almost a week now and it is driving me CRAZY!!! My poor throat hurts from coughing so much.

I have to deliver newsletters today....uggghhh!!! I NEED A VACATION badly!!! I have 3 months to go before I am taking one. Uggggghhh! I was actually visualizing my trip to Argentina and Uruguay. I was literally doing absolutely NOTHING and loving it. In my visions I was lying on the beach suntanning. I think that is what I will do the whole time I am in Uruguay. While in Argentina, I will be poolside everyday working on my tan and then in the evenings visiting with family and friends. Man....I can NOT wait!!! I might squeeze in some shopping actually....lol! Maybe even a tattoo...lmao!

Last night was a good night at the bar...sort of! It was not busy but I stayed busy...somehow...lol! Mystery man came in and kept me entertained. It almost felt like a date because we were sitting at the bar chatting for hours. Good times! The more I get to know him, the more I like him. He has these piercing deep blue eyes and he will randomly say something so inquisitive and shock me a little bit. I discovered he is a Leo! I just did some reading about Gemini and Leo compatibility...lol...have a read;

"When a Leo and a Gemini team up they can show more sparkle than the diamond. With their love of laughter and life they've got a lot in common and can even teach each other a thing or two.Those glittering Geminis will make their lovely Lions relax and they in turn can transmit to the twinkling twins a little of their own gorgeous generosity and wonderful warmth.

The Geminian way with words and the Lion's flair for forgiveness, should be able to patch up any punctures in their partnership. There's a thoroughly theatrical atmosphere to this alliance and this couple's idea of a terrific time is to spend time at the cinema, and book a box for the ballet, followed by a fantastic feed-up at a ritzy restaurant before rushing off home for an intercourse. Once they slip between the silk sheets, the Leo can be such a luscious lover that even a twin will be lost for words.They'll love the sensation of melting into each other's arms and the Geminian will respond even more warmly than with some other signs.Once out of bed, they continue to be a caring couple and the child like charm of the Gemini will captivate that large Leo heart."

How cool is that? LOL I guess we'll have to see how things pan out there! Keep you posted! xo

Random thoughts....

Saw Breaking Dawn; Twilight Saga yesterday. I LOVED IT!!!! The beginning was slow and a little silly but the middle and end....brilliant. Now we have to wait another friggin year before we get to see that last segment to that series. FACK!!! LOL

Count downs:
1. 2 days till I visit with my cousin and his fiance for lunch.
2. 10 days till I see one of my dear dear friends
3. 11 days till I see the one of my bffs
4. 14 days till I see my bbbbbff
5. Still trying to arrange a visit with 2 other bffs of mine.

So I have had 3 nights to sleep on an issue that I lightly talked about on Friday. I still want to write about it. I am fully aware of the consequences of discussing this issue and yet...I am still going to write my thoughts down. I have always been honest with my blog. I have always written what is bothering me, why stop now?! Granted, writing my thoughts and feelings has pissed off a couple people. To my defence, this is my journal....I can write what I want!

My usual routine every morning is to check my emails and deal with that first and then go to facebook and deal with that and finally I will come to my blog and write. Friday morning I got and read an email from this person who's friendship with me has been reduced to nothing. What really concerns me is how she makes me feel. She is the second person over the past 2 years to make me feel like I am certifiably insane. This is very unhealthy. Everyday, I consider and reconsider and consider again....wtf she is talking about. I simply don't get it. The fact is, I had a concern that should have been considered and it wasn't. Instead, my concern was thrown out the door and what was left was nothing but horrible and negative energy on both our ends. I strongly believe I am humble enough to hear this person's argument....but only if that person shares the humility and acknowledges my concern. Takes 2 to tango...not one. This friendship needs both people to give a shit....not just one. I am not going to rehash my contributions to this friendship...what would be the point in that? 

This email consisted of 2 sentiments and 1 criticism:
1. She cares
2. She doesn't care
3. My blogs are insulting

Ok!

Not too sure what to do with this information. As the days move on...I am feeling less and less angry/sad/frustrated. Maybe that is all I can do....is give this friendship (or whatever you want to call it!) time. It is clear to me that she reads my blogs, hence the criticism...I will say this; I will never apologize for my writing...EVER!!!! It is my safe place and my sanity.

On a lighter note; I am seeing my trainer today. It has been 2 weeks since I have seen her. EEEKKK! I am sure I am going to be suffering from the great pain tomorrow. Good times!!

Happy Monday!
xo P

Darn!!!

Here's a thought; sometimes something happens to me right before I write my blog and as a result I want to write about it. The catch? I realize that maybe I need to sleep on what has transpired before writing about it. Why? It is in my nature to react and act out based on that reaction; this doesn't really leave any room for contemplation and rationalization. The problem? Sometimes my actions (based on a reaction) can instigate problems.

I would give you an example but I would have to put in play what has happened today and I am thinking, maybe I need to sit on this before I speak of it.

My mind f*** for the day; forget about it!!!!! This is a very difficult thing for me to do. Uggghhhhh!!!

I had a really great night last night. LOL!!! As we all know, last Thursday I was dying from tonsillitis and this Thursday....was jacked up with positive, festive energy and had an amazing night at the bar. Good times!

It is Friday. Yes it is! I am sitting here....seriously struggling to not think about what has happened this morning. It is consuming all of my brain power. What to do? Hmmmmm!!!

Going to see Breaking Dawn on Sunday with my sister. Super duper excited about that. As for tomorrow...have work to do during the day. I will then proceed to get ready for an afternoon/evening party at one of my customer's Christmas party. My attendance at this party will follow a drop in at another bar down the street from mine. There was this girl/lady who came into my bar for drinks on her first date with this guy. Round one was paid for by the guy, round 2 was supposed to be paid by the woman....cause she said so. They accumulated a $60 tab and she and her dude left without paying. Silly girl...she works 2 blocks down from my bar and she told me what her shifts were. So Saturday evening...going to her bar and I will collect the $60 she owes me (the bar). BRUTAL!!! Who does this? I mean really!! Running out on a tab is such a foreign concept to me....I simply don't get it! Not even in my most debilitated state of hammeredness have I EVER run out on a tab. Ugggghhh!!!

Another thought: I got a complaint regarding my blogs. Someone actually complained about me writing this blog. That makes 2 people to date who have had an issue with my writing. I could probably write a friggin novel about this topic...but it is Friday, I want to stay in a good mood and we are only 16 days away from Christmas and 17 days away from seeing my bbbbbbbbff.

F*** it!!!

Have a great weekend! xo P

Laughs all around!

Man...it is sunny out today. Sort of deceiving though...cause it is Baltic out there. I am doing a serious mental prep to go out there and deliver newsletters for my business. I will have to make sure to bring gloves and a hat.

It is Thursday....YAY!!! LOL!! I am happy because hopefully I will make some serious money tonight...and hopefully I can recoup what I lost from a missed shift on Monday. That would be nice! I am also sort of excited because I will maybe get to see the man that I am going out on a date with next Wednesday. He puts a smile on my face.

So, I went to visit my sister and nephew yesterday...always a pleasure. She confirmed that we are in fact going to see Breaking Dawn on Sunday....YAYYYYYYYYY!!!! So friggin excited!!! Speaking of that, I was at Shoppers yesterday and I happened to glance at the Hollywood smut mags hanging out by the cash...and I read "RPAT and Kristen Stewart...getting married!". WTF is that? Seriously!!! Common!!! I almost vomited in my mouth! BRUTAL!!!!

So back to my visit with my sister and nephew...I know all parents think their kids are geniuses. However, call me biased, but my nephew is sort of mind blowing. Granted my sister has genius tendencies with book smarts and she comes from parents that have genius tendencies...it was bound to come out in my 3 year old nephew. No offence to my bro-in-law. He is wicked cool...and my nephew gets the coolness from him. LOL!!! Sorry sistah! This kid is hysterical. Yesterday I was playing with him and I had to grab his toes...just cause. I took his socks off and made a reference to toe jam...lol!! He says "leave my toe jam alone and put my socks back on!". Let me remind you...he's 3 years old!!! Holy shit balls man! LMAO I love my family!!!

From that visit with my family, I went to go and visit another dear friend. I have spoken of this friend many a time. This is a very special friendship. I met him through one of my bffs....who now lives in B.C. I would only see this guy when I saw my bff. Now that my bff is gone...it has given rise to a blooming friendship with this guy...let's call him Ace. LOL!!! I laugh because we watched Ace Venture Pet Detective last night...love that movie. Not only did I laugh my ass off with the movie....but Ace is pretty hysterical all on his own. He's a realtor...but should be a comedian. Good times!!! Thank you Ace....we'll have to do that again!

There it is folks...another day in the life of Paula! Peace out! xo P

Big smiles....

Woke up smiling...how about that for a Wednesday morning?! I had an interesting evening at the bar last night, my first night back since I was sick. I was full of energy and ready to go. Typically, I would have struggled with last night being so slow...but not this time. I was energized right till the end. Good thing too....shit went down...as always. Between a serious leak with the hot water tank and one of my favorite customers beating up another customer...there was enough action to keep anyone on their toes. LOL!!!

Let's call this favorite customer 'A' (for argument sake) and the guy he beat up 'B'. So everyone is chilling out having drinks and all is well. B decides to get a little excited about himself...he's 20. He's talking a lot of s***...but that is to be expected from a young man. B ends up saying something pretty stupid and it was not only directed to me but was about me. This is not the first time I hear this kind of thing...I really am quite numb to the sentiment. I couldn't have cared less about the comment, in fact...I was washing dishes and didn't think anything of it. Please note; it wasn't mean....it was meant to be a compliment but was said in a derogatory manner which wasn't polite or well mannered. Well...A was less than impressed and decided to look after matters. A approached B and put his hand on B's arm and simply said "that was inappropriate, could you please apologize to Paula!". B didn't like the approach and then the energy between the 2 of them escalated and within minutes....the 2 of them are brawling. BRUTAL!!! What you need to know about A is that he is 6'4, 230lbs while B is 5'7 maybe 170lbs give or take. Not a fair fight at all.

I managed to separate the 2 of them and the rest of the night was mellow....except for the leak in the basement. LOL!!!

This was not what put a smile on my face this morning. I have been asked out on a date. This will be my first date since the days of Mr. Fabulous. It has been a long time. I am excited. We scheduled it for next Wednesday. He is picking me up and taking me out. It is a complete surprise what we will be doing...and I LOVE that!

Not to mention...as the days push forward...my festive spirit and excitement levels rise and I am totally and utterly full of joy. LOVE 'N IT!!!

Happy Hump Day to all!! xo P

Friends with Benefits....the movie.

I saw that movie the other day....like Sunday night I think. I actually really liked it. Maybe because Justin was in it and I absolutely love that man or maybe it was because it was actually funny or maybe because I am a sucker for love stories....as was Mila Kunis' character in the movie. Either way...I really like the movie.

It got me thinking...I am always thinking. No....that wasn't what it made me think about...lol! It made me think about what most single women think about...fairy tales; Prince Charming, Knight in shining armour, etc. When I watch these movies...I hate myself for doing so. Why? Because then I am forced to remember that I am missing the fabulousness of having a man in my life. If it wasn't for these freakn movies...I wouldn't care so much. I am sure you are asking....why do you watch movies then? To which my reply is.....because I am a masochist. I simply can't help myself. I LOVE MOVIES. I am a sucker for these romantic comedies....total sucker.

In the movie 'Friends with Benefits', Justin and Mila become the best of friends and throw sex into the mix which totally messes things up...naturally. They manage to clear some things up and try it again for it to fail terribly...again. They make is look so easy at the beginning. Just that friendship alone is amazing. I can relate. I have a dear dear dear friend who is a man. We have never had sex and will never have sex. How can I be so sure? That is a topic for another blog. Take my word for it! We've been friends for over 10 years. However...over the past year or so...it has been the best it has ever been. There is a love there...definitely but a different love than one that exists between 2 people in a non-friendship setting. Does that make sense? Moving along....

I think the point of my thoughts today is this; Prince Charming has been on my mind A LOT!!! Where the f*** are you man? LOL

A revelation for you; I think I have been purposefully sabotaging myself for awhile now. I am always saying out loud....to the world that I don't have time to nurture a relationship now. I work like 60 hours a week. The only social setting I have is at the bar and I am not so sure that I am going to meet Prince Charming there. Who knows!! Not me! Plus...everyone tells me I will meet someone through my business....there is hope there! LOL

I am not getting any younger....that is for sure!

Wish me luck folks! xo P

She's alive!!

Holy shit balls!! I honestly didn't think I was going to come around from this friggin illness. Uggggh!!!

Thursday night....I felt like I looked like a zombie. On the inside...my body was putrefying into waste...is how it felt. With each moment of work, I was getting worse and feeling worse. It got to the point where I had to excuse myself to lie down. I asked my manager to take over for a bit while I got horizontal in the hopes that it would give me back some energy. Maybe an hour later, I got called back....lol! I was lucky to get an hour! I popped some Advil....did a mind f*** on myself and hustled through the rest of the night. Man....I blew my mind! Drove home like an idiot....just wanted to get into my pj's and into my bed....desperately. I am sure the cops...if there were any...would have either just let me go...or would have taken me to the hospital. Either way...I didn't care! I got home...had to look after the little guy. Got my pj's on and hit the sack like a ton of bricks. Didn't sleep a wink though. Was in so much pain and discomfort....I wanted to die! I tossed and turned for about 5 hours at which point I called my mom to save me. She did! She picked me and the nerd up. We dropped the nerd off at my mom's and then went to the doctors. I couldn't stand or even walk. I felt like I was dying...slowly but surely.

I didn't have to wait long, like 5 minutes...pulled myself up a stair case and crashed on a seat and was bent over my lap waiting for the door to the exam room to open. When it did....I sloughed my way in. Doctor asked me what was wrong. I said I have strep throat. He argued with me! Ha.....don't argue with me. I have had it enough times to know what it is. Again....he disagreed and finally said I have tonsillitis. Fine!!! Whatever!!! HELP ME!!! He gave me antibiotics...which was to be expected. Had to go back downstairs...which was a very dangerous feat...with my eyes half closed, hunched over from pain and dizziness, finally get to the main level and told my mom....gotta sit down. She went to get the script.

We get back to the house. I immediately went to bed. I didn't leave that bed or that room for 48 hours straight....unless of course to pee or change my sopping wet clothes from the profuse sweating the took place over that time. I think I had to change 4 times over those 2 days. I have never known what it is like to sweat from every inch of your body....at the same time. My socks, pants, underwear, undershirt, shirt, neck, face, head, arms.....sweating...a lot! Disgusting! All that aside...not being able to swallow liquids, forget about solid foods, was problematic. When you sweat that much...you need to put something back in. This created a monster headache that lasted....wait...I still have it! Yesterday, Sunday....I could see the light. The excruciating pain that took over my whole body had dissipated. Now...the focus was on my upper body; shoulders and up. It was at this point my rage started to kick in. In my head I was saying....F*** you sickness....get the f*** out of my body. I hate you I hate you!

LMAO!!!

I can laugh about it now!

I decided to take charge. I didn't care that I couldn't swallow. I was determined to fight this thing like I would if I was boxing with my trainer. I went to solid foods. Between the stomach cramps, my tonsils being the size of ping pongs, the migraine, the pain in my shoulders....I had had enough! I ploughed through countless glasses of water, 5 cups of tea, 3 cups of hot soup, sandwiches, bananas....whatever I could get my hands on. I wanted this thing out of me. It was an accomplishment. I have to say I am pretty proud of myself. The stomach cramps persist. Whatever! I know that won't go away until I am done with the script. I am best friends with Advil...take that frequently throughout the day. My bastard tonsils have shrunken to the size of grapes (down from ping pong size). Hoping they will be the size of peas by tomorrow. As for my neck and shoulders....going to put a hot pack on them today.

As for my brain and emotional well-being? Ha!!! Let's revisit that tomorrow! xo P

Missing the snow....!!!

Can you believe today is the 1st of December? I can't!!! What is it about the Christmas holidays that puts everyone, including myself in such a great mood? I LOVE the sentiment of the holidays; the gathering of everyone...family and friends, the month long celebrations and the on-going Christmas cheer.

I LOVE IT!!!!

I woke up this morning to a phone call that I absolutely had to take at 8:30. From there, I tried to get back to sleep but only got to snooze land. I was coming to life and realizing that today is the first of December....the true beginning of Christmas celebrations. This put a smile on my face. From this topic my mind wondered on to my count down for my bbbbbbff's arrival on the 19th...but I won't get to see her till the 26th.....only 25 days to go. That is 3 weeks and 4 days......ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! SO FRIGGIN EXCITED!!!

Every time I walk into my parent's house, I see their brilliantly fabulous Christmas tree which also puts a smile on my face. For a family that was never really into Christmas....I certainly love it more than any other holiday in the year.

As you can see, I am in a chipper mood. Although I am struggling with some pain both good and bad...I am not taken aback by it. We all know how much I love the post workout pain...but that being combined with the post massage pain...not the best combo. My upper back, shoulders and neck...not in good shape. I know it will pass!

I had an amazing sleep last night. Let me back track a bit. Yesterday being my day off from the bar....enables me to have some much needed quiet time. I had Thai food for dinner followed by a half bag of chocolate covered almonds while watching "My brother is an idiot" and some other movie that I can't remember for the life of me because I was snoozing while it was playing. I was in bed by 11:30. Good times! Man...people take sleeping for granted. I hear people say; screw sleeping...sleep when you are dead! Ha.....are they insane? I get on the average about 5-6 hours sleep. I deal with that. I seem to function fairly with it. But my goodness....when I get 8 or more hours of sleep....I feel like I fell off a cloud.  This kind of sleep happens 2 days a week. I can't complain!

Have a big night ahead of me....Karaoke night at the bar! The dude whom I was supposed to celebrate his birthday with yesterday....bailed on those plans. We will instead be celebrating it tonight at my bar. YAY!!

Happy December 1st to everyone! LOL
xo P

Alrighty then!

Feeling better today folks. YAY!!! I can't say that I am over the burden of this failing friendship....no way! I am finding ways to tolerate it or rather deal with it. Yesterday at about 2pm, I had made an executive decision to spend a little money and get a much needed massage. By the time I made this decision my body was so cramped up from the anxiety and emotional distress that I could barely relax my shoulders. I was in a perpetual shrug...ugggh!!! Pain much?!!! So...there I went....for a massage. Now...I would like to say I enjoyed it thoroughly....but I can't! Don't get me wrong...it was still a pleasure however the therapist talked the whole time and was engaging me in conversation when all I wanted to do was snooze. I am feeling sore in between my shoulder blades today. Had to push forward and do a much needed workout with my trainer.

Last night was a very late night for me. I don't think I got to bed until 5am just to wake up at 9:30am to get ready for my workout. I arrived at my trainer's house....exhausted, disheveled and red-eyed. Of course my trainer took no mercy on me and said..."we'll start with boxing"....lol!!! Genius woman....got heated up and jazzed within minutes. Man....I absolutely love this woman and our workouts!!! Nothing like some boxing to straighten out some bad mojo...you know?

I need a hot tub.

I have so much ambition for today. My body isn't backing me up. It is screaming to me....'need to sleep' while my brain is saying...'let's get this and this and this done by 5pm and then go and shower so that I can head to Toronto to celebrate a dear friend's birthday'. Ugghhhh!! What to do? NEED A NAP!!!

Side note: 26 days till I see my bbbbbbff! YAY!!!

Enough already!!!!

Today I wish I wasn't me! I mean....I wish I could switch some of my behaviors off. Today...I wish I didn't give a shit. Today....I am cross between angry and sad. Today...I woke up frustrated and slightly aggravated.

Something is going on. Its like a friggin tidal wave. One thing triggered this feeling of whatever it is and now it has grown into something so much bigger. Need a cleansing pronto. Can I tough this shit out for 3.5 weeks till I get some down time? Will I get some feed back from this person that has initiated the tidal wave? Who knows!!! Can I shake it off? NO!

I am running out patience with the bar I work at. I can see it isn't really the bar that has been draining my everything....but rather this problem that I have been dealing with for awhile now...and have been blogging about for awhile now. What I have learned about myself is that I am terrible at letting go. Sometimes people have to really spell it out for me. I wish I could take the subtle hints and move the f*** on.

Everything else in my life is fine and dandy. I really want to be enjoying it. F***!!!!

xo P

What can I say?

Good day world; Happy Monday! OMG....28 days till Christmas and 29 days till I get to see my bff. The count down begins.

As much as I am trying with all my might to not think about this particular person...it is a much harder task then I thought. When someone really hurts you....you would think that you could move forward without them with ease. I am not moving along with ease. I was checking out facebook on Saturday and discovered she had had her baby....a boy! Her brother posted it. I am so so so excited for her and yet so sad that I may never get to meet him. I am not so sure we will recover our friendship. VERY UPSETTING!

It is Monday....a fresh week...I have to battle with myself to keep up my spirits. I really don't have the time to be angry, frustrated or sad as I am...dealing with this broken friendship. Ugggghhh!!!

I had a good weekend. Relatively mellow. I worked Friday night. Saturday I worked during the day and then went to a family friend's dinner party followed by some festivities at my sister's. I was home and in bed by 1am. Sunday was a pretty relaxed day/night. Was visited by a bff. We hit up a local bar that had live music. Good times!

Oh Monday!!!! xo P

Sweet Dreams!

Yay....I finally had an amazing sleep with amazing dreams. Granted I only slept for 5 hours...it was more like one long dream. I dreamt that I had an opportunity to sail on the tall ships that I sailed as a teenager. I dreamt that the whole crew that I sailed with back then....was my crew this time....15 years later. I dreamt that I had the same captain and that even the woman who passed away this summer (whom I met during my sailing years) was there. It really was a super cool dream. I caught up with the crew at some village by a body of water....I think it was a lake with canals rather than an ocean or sea....irrelevant. I was desperate to find a computer to post a final blog before departing...lol! The crew had access to one and showed me the way....however it was a very different set up and I was struggling to get it done. I do remember feeling pressured for time. I think we were leaving in haste. Moving along, I do think I got to write the blog because I remember leaving and feeling complete. In this dream....we were sailing these pretty narrow canals and with such speed that we were seriously heeling...the masts were almost parallel to the water. So crazy....so fun! I was woken up by Chori's typical vocal yawns. NERD!

So today is Friday. YAY! I do have to work tonight. I hope it is better than last night. Tomorrow is a big day. I have another client that I am working with and I am taking them to view a couple properties tomorrow. I have a dinner event to go to in the evening and then the night will be topped off at my sister's house party. LOVE IT!!!

Now....I really need to get this off my chest. I mentioned that I was struggling with a particular friendship. I still am! She is due to have her baby tomorrow. I can NOT stop thinking about her. It pains me to no end that we are at a disagreement and in turn....not on talking terms. I am sad first and foremost. As much as I want to reach out to her to wish her well...this simply can't be done right now. Which brings me to this; I am sending out my love and best wishes you Lady! Even though we aren't speaking right now....I still love you and my thoughts are with you!!!

xo P

Jingle Bells.....already?

Every time I get in my car, it seems that all the radio stations are playing Christmas songs. Oy....I think it is a little early to be bombarding us with that. Don't get me wrong...I am all about the holiday cheer...but let's face it....4 weeks to go, I want to hear good tunes man! I won't lie, this morning on my way to my workout...I was singing Jingle Bells. LOL!!

This year is a very special one for me....as was last year. Getting to spend time with my best friend of all time...is truly a treat. I have been going through some tough times with friends as of late. I have...I had...a solid group of dear dear friends. Something happened...this tight group dissipated. One moved to B.C., another has become a workaholic, one of my bff's and I are in a tiff and she is playing the "screw you" card. I am not complaining. I am still surrounded by many loving friends. Where one left the province, another one filled the shoes temporarily. I need some up-lifting and I am so going to get it when I see my bff in 4 weeks. I also just booked a weekend to Montreal for New Years. Uggghhhh can not wait to get out of this city and get some fresh air so to speak. The double whammy with that mini trip is that I will be in the company of another bff. Goodness....how lucky can I be? LOL

So I went to the gym today...hoping to complete my usual workout. I was unsuccessful. I am still in pain from my workout with my trainer on Monday. 4 days later and my legs and arse are still in pain. As much as I tried to conquer the (good) pain....it got the better of me. Ugggh!!!

xo P

Oh how I love you Wednesdays!

Yup, I am officially with a cold. GREAT!!! This is also day 2 of incredible post trainer workout pain. My arse and legs are feeling it the most today. Maybe it's because I was showing my customers at the bar last night....some of my exercises and as a result....re-worked those muscles OR maybe it was all the Salsa dancing with another costumer of mine at the bar. Ha....either way....last night was awesome!

Speaking of last night; LMAO....sorry can't help but laugh! There is this incredibly hot young man who frequents my bar. He is only 20 years old. LMAO!!! He is a total knock out and naturally I'll flirt with his cute self. He humours me!! Last night he actually propositioned me. LMAO!!! I gave him a kiss and told him...."if only you were 10 years older"!!! Good times!!!

I love my bar!!!

I am spending much of my day working. I am supposed to be doing a Zumba class this evening at 6pm. I hope I can gather enough energy by then to go. I am planning to visit my sister and nephew tonight. Always a treat! Finally....I intend on being in bed by 10pm. YAY!!! What a beautiful day!

Happy Hump Day to all! xo P

PAIN!!!!

Like I always say....I love the post workout pain! However yesterday's workout was focused to every single body part; legs, torso, arms. I can barely move at all. Even sitting her at my desk is painful because I am sitting on my very sore arse. THANK YOU Trainer!!! LOVE YOU! LOL

Just have to interject.....PLEASE don't let me get sick. I have been sneezing all morning and sniffling. I do not have allergies which means that is could very well be a cold!! Noooooooooo!!!!!!

Some gossip for you; so it has been a long while since I have spoken to a particular person. The termination of our relationship left me very angry. Only recently have I come to realization that I am no longer angry and can probably communicate with this person. So...me being me....I reached out to them. BAD IDEA!!! I guess I want to believe that PEOPLE are ever changing....cause I am. Well....some people don't get the perk of constant personal evolution. Some people stay stagnant...sucks for them. After only 2 days of chit chat, I am reminded how blatantly offensive and brutal this person is. I am glad it only took me 2 days to rediscover this. No time wasted!

Only 33 days left to Christmas!! OMG!!! VERY EXCITING!!! Only 34 days left till I get to see my bff from Europe. That is the best Christmas gift!!!!

Peace out! xo P

What a weekend!!!!

Good day and Happy Monday!!!

It is a happy Monday. I got my full 9 hours of sleep giving me all the energy I need for a very full and productive day so far and ahead of me. I have already spent the morning looking after my car. Getting Rocco into winter gear in preparation for the snow. He got serviced, got his winter tires and I bought him winter rims...black steel. I think they are sexy. With that said, when I have to buy new rims next year...I think I am going to buy black or dark dark gray rims....alloy or something awesome like that. To top it off....he got a supreme bath. He looks friggin amazing and drives like he did the first day I got him. LOVE IT!!!

Now...have a bunch of little things to do all before 3pm at which point I will be getting my ass kicked by my trainer. Speaking of kicking ass....I did some of that Saturday night. A friend of mine who graced me with his presence...came to my party with a friend of his. I have met this friend a couple times. Cool dude. He didn't believe that I had any power at all when it comes to boxing....so I had to prove him wrong. We brawled. I was told that I didn't even phase him. Fine! He is built like a brick shit house. Me on the other hand....bruised knuckles and a malfunctioning 4th digit. I won't complain. I had a great time and just being able to beat someone up....feels great!

So I had my party on Saturday night. It didn't turn out AT ALL like I had intended. I am learning to not have expectations. If you have them...you are for sure going to be let down. It was fun. I had fun. I saw a few of my dear dear friends and of course my kick ass family was there. I think things ended at my house around midnight-ish at which point we went to the bar. Had an awesome time there. Then we all came back to my place at which point I fell asleep pretty quickly. I woke up in the morning to total and utter chaos in my house. It was at this point that I really got a sense of my OCD and zero tolerance for mess. Having said that, when I found out that one of my guests had vomited on my couch and carpet....you can just imagine how I felt. It took me 2 hours to get my home back in order. The only thing pending is the couch. I have removed the carpet altogether and I am not so sure I am going to be bringing it back into my house. I may just have to rent a steam cleaner for the couch. Ugggghhh!!! NOT COOL!!!!

Well folks...need to buckle down and get going! Till tomorrow xo P

What a day.....

I am sitting in my mom's office...at her house....admiring the new setup we have here. Up until today we were functioning with a primitive workstation setup. It was tolerable and decent....but now....things are SO MUCH BETTER!!!! We had a carpenter come over, assess the situation and my goodness...did he ever hook us up!! I feel like I am in a model suite for offices....GORGEOUS!!! This will make it so much easier to function....being totally inspired by fabulousness! Go Mom!!!

I started my day with watching this kick ass movie called CRAZY STUPID LOVE. OMG...I have a new crush...Ryan Gosling!! OMG....what a friggin hottie cool dude! Ugghhhh....sort of makes me sick. I had my morning omelet with coffee and snuggle with the Choo. From there I went to get my much needed manicure. I tried something different this last time...it wasn't successful! Had to go back to the typical french manicure...but it's all good! It is beautiful! From there....had to do some shopping for my party tomorrow. Still have much to do there!

I have to work tonight...YAY!!!! I say that with a hint of sarcasm...have so much to do before my party tomorrow and so little time to get 'er (lol) done! Oh well...no rest for the wicked!

Well folks....I will wish you a Happy Friday!!! Till next week! xo P

Huh!!!!

It is Thursday today. I had a wicked sleep last night. Was in bed by 11pm and slept till 9. SO GREAT!!! The fact that I get one great sleep a week...is a slice of heaven. My bed, pillows, sheets....feel like I am on a cloud. Dreamy....so so so comfortable....ugghhh....want to go back! LOL

Not sure if I mentioned this already...I am hosting a party this Saturday. My first at the new house. It will be a celebration of my new home combined with a hint of Christmas. I am having my family of course, my very favorite person; my trainer, a few of my dear and close friends. Intimate and interactive. Perfect!!!! Can't wait!!!

In the mean time....have so much to look after! I am exhausted just thinking about it! With that said...not going to think about it anymore right now! LOL

I am in the middle of a conversation on Facebook with and old friend. He is sort of fascinating. We've been friends for 15 years...give or take. He leads a very interesting life. He is my age...and has traveled to well over 30 countries. Mind blowing! Will see him on Saturday!! YAY!

I was with my trainer yesterday...did some intense boxing and kickboxing. LOVE IT!!! Of course I am dealing with some intense post workout pain...but like I always say...I love that too! I still have bruises in between my knuckles. Usually that goes away pretty fast...not this time! Clearly I am getting stronger, hitting harder. I will absolutely have to get into a ring with someone....one day! I need to be challenged with my skills. Any takers? LOL

K folks....gotta get to work! Peace out! xo P

Wednesdays...my new favorite weekday!

I love Wednesdays!!! Why? Because I don't have to work tonight!!!! YAY!!! Don't get me wrong...I love working at the bar...just really appreciate my nights off. Not having to work tonight gives me some peace in mind that I can take my time in doing everything I have to do today...which is alot! I got to bed by 3:30am and was up by 9am sharp. Had to take my car in for service today. Poor Rocco, he has been recently neglected. He desperately needs to be cleaned inside and out. Anyone able to help me with this? LOL!!!

I am training with my trainer today. I am determined to get some boxing in. Sort of in the mood to kick some ass and I really want to feel that good pain all over tomorrow...makes me laugh....lol!

A piece of exciting news; I get my business cards today!!! OMG....so friggin excited!!! This has been a bit of a lengthy procedure and I super happy for it to be over and I can start spreading the news about my new business.

I sort of want to chat about something...I have a rule for the bar. I WILL NOT date any customers...ever! This rule came about from an experience last year...while working at that bar. Granted it was a very different time with a very different feel and very different people. I don't care!!! My rule is a rule and that is the end of that!!! Now...I am pretty hard fast with rules. I respect them...especially when they are my own. I will almost never budge and I can not be persuaded. With all this said, I have 2 costumers that have been trying to take me out for some time now. One more than the other. The one that is pretty persistent...we'll call him A. He is a cool dude...not my flavour however. I have partied with him once outside of the bar (at a party)...and have had drinks with him and a few others...again outside of the bar. One the one hand...I am thinking...maybe he is cool enough to just let this be as it is....and on the other hand...I can see that he has expectations...which are presenting themselves...and in turn...makes things awkward. I have definitely stated my case and yet...he thinks he can convince me otherwise. Hmmmm!!!

Now...as for dude B....he is kind of sexy...ok...a lot sexy! LOL!!! I like him SOBER! After a few beers...he gets kind of wild...and I don't like it! But that doesn't matter...cause I won't date him! LOL!! This one is also pretty determined to hang out outside of the bar. Now...I have had to become pretty resourceful with how I handle these situations. I can't afford to offend these guys...they are regulars, they are very very nice to me, they have my back, they tip well and bottom line...I want to keep them...as customers. So...here is where my Gemini Jedi skills come into play...lol! It is a bit of a balancing act to be honest. I would get into detail about this...but that would be sharing some industry secrets....no can do! Sorry!

There have been a few (many) others that have tried to ask me out...to which my reply is a bold " I don't date customers!!" This has been a pretty successful deterrent for those that acknowledge my decision and respect the conviction behind it. I won't deny that it is flattering and fuel for the ego. Seeing as this is, as of late, my only socialization and window to the outside world...I will take it!

Ok...that is enough babble for one day! xo P

I won't deny!!!

I can't stop thinking about singing! It is on my mind fore-front and center. I was working last night at the bar and I had this customer...a very special person...come in. He had been in the show biz at one point in his life. He had some honest and smart advice for me. First...he made me sing for him. I almost shat my pants. LOL! I declined emphatically at first but then he convinced me by giving me some sound suggestions. He was impressed....is what he told me. Granted he isn't in the business anymore and really couldn't be of any help...in getting me anywhere. I will thank my angels for sending him my way however because his advice definitely resonated with me and it was completely justifiable.

I can't describe how consumed I am by this passion. It really does take up a lot of precious brain power. LOL! These days the only 2 things I think about are singing...and my real estate business. Hmmmm!!!

Totally unrelated subject...I got to skype with my bbff (bestest bestest friend forever) who lives in Europe. It really is such a treat to get to chat with her. Man...I miss her terribly! Thankfully...she is coming home for Christmas...with her brilliant fiance! Come to think about it...she arrives in 4.5 weeks. OMG....so friggin excited!!! Of course she is booked to the tits. The whole world will want a piece of her time. Naturally...I get 3rd priority...after the family of course. We were hashing out the details of when I would hightail it to her first destination to celebrate her birthday with her followed by a weekend getaway to Montreal for New Years. LOVE IT!!!! Uggghhh...can't wait!

Speaking of things that I am looking forward to...my trip to Argentina. I have finally saved the money to pay for the ticket...now just need some time to search for best price. Just thinking about this trip...puts a smile on my face. Imagining the sun, the water, the beach, the city, my family, my friends, the food, the shows, the culture, the coffee, the shopping, the pool, the heat...it is overwhelming how much I am in love with this country. Here's a thought; if I am even remotely successful with my business where as I have made a few sales before my departure...I will seriously consider investing in some property there. WHAT A DREAM!!!!! I downloaded an app for my phone; the Argentine version of MLS. I get to view all sorts of brilliant properties that I would totally buy in a heartbeat....just need the money.

Random thought; I have been going back in time and re-reading some of my old posts. Has anyone noticed how time changes things? The usual topic of discussion was men. Ha!!!! Who are they? LMAO!!!! That is one department in my life...that has turned into a dismal situation. Meh...whateves!!! Not time for that right now!

Well folks...that's all she wrote! xo P

HOLY SHIT BALLS......200 POSTS!!!!

I can't believe it actually!!! I have been blogging since mid-January and here we are...mid November and 200 posts later. VERY EXCITING!!!

How funny for this post to have landed on a Monday. Why does this catch my attention? Well...Monday usually represents a fresh start...a new beginning and as such....after 200 posts....I feel like I am on to a new project, new challenges and new adventures. Let's not forget that I have now ventured into a new career and this means....a whole new world of experiences. I have decided that I am going to materialize my blog into print form....in the form of a scrap book. One of my readers suggested that I use this online program called My Memories...check it out: http://www.mymemories.com/. I am on the verge of getting started with this software. I will keep you posted on my progress and will for sure post about the completion of the scrapbook. So excited!

Why not celebrate this as well...shall we? That is right folks...I am officially a realtor with RE/MAX Professionals Inc.

I really am beside myself with excitement, positive energy and joy. I am over the moon that things are falling into place and that my business is on the move!!! All good things!!!

I would very much like to throw in some juicy gossip for you....however I worked all weekend...literally. I worked Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday day. It's all good though! This weekend coming up will be fun filled. Why? Because I am having a party!!!! YAY!!! My first one at the new house and the first party I have ever hosted...all on my own! Super jazzed!

Well folks...I really must buckle down and get some work done!!! Till tomorrow! xo P

Lethargic!

Oh what to write....have so much on my mind...!

Remembrance Day! Just have to say thank you to all the soldiers who have given us...me...the opportunity to live the life that I lead.

Yesterday I did engage in some serious retail therapy. I ended up spending double what I had intended on spending. Ouch!!! As the people who were helping me shop yesterday said; your wardrobe is an investment. Ha!!! I am going to stick to that notion.

The little bastards were total shysters today....uggghhh!!! I am in desperate need of some down time....sans doggies. I can't believe I am actually saying that...but the 2 of them together...killing me! Got to bed by 4am...was woken up by the turds at 7:30am, then again at 9am and then as I tried to snooze for awhile longer...they were totally rambunctious and refused to give me peace. Needless to say...I am lethargic and slightly crusty. GREAT!!!!

Today is Friday. Usually I would be happy about this because I would be able to sleep in tomorrow knowing that I don't have any obligations however I have to work tomorrow night...and I will have to maintain my work mode till Sunday.

I have a busy afternoon and as such, do not see an opportunity for a nap before I work tonight. This is potentially bad news considering that when I am overtly exhausted...things tend to get hairy.

I am going to go home...shower and get ready for my 3pm appointment. I am going to pray that there is no traffic and I am going to pray that I get back in time to have some down time before my shift at the bar. That is a lot of praying...or as I would like to say...a lot of requests for my angels.

We'll see what Monday's post has to bring me!

Happy weekend to all! xo P

Ouuuuuuuuuuch!!!

Wow...I am in pain!!! Good pain...but pain non-the-less!!! I will not complain about this pain. I asked for it! I wanted it! I paid for it! LOL!!! Thank you to my trainer for a great workout yesterday. Love it!!

I did myself a favour yesterday; I stayed in on my one night off! I ate some dinner and watched back to back episodes of 'Love it or List it'. Man...I love that show!!! I did eat some chocolate covered almonds as well. I won't deny! LOL I think I fell asleep around 11pm ish. Woke up this morning to the little rascals causing a raucous at around 8am. This time...I wasn't mad! LOL It is amazing what a good night sleep can do for you. Feeling very much alive and it is 9:45am. I have a lot planned for the day. Going to get started as soon as I finish this blog.

The highlight of the day will be shopping. I am going to go and do some shopping for some much needed clothing. Yup!!! Have to! The top of the priority list is a bra. Since I have been continuously losing weight from my workouts and my 60 hour work weeks...my boobs have shrunk. I have to be honest with you...I am not sad about this one bit! Victoria Secret....here I come! I intend on buying 2 pairs of pants; jeans and dress pants. We'll see how successful I am with that. Wish me luck! I will have to use every single ounce of my will power to NOT buy shoes! Ekkk!!!

Now...since I am on the self improvement wave as of late...I did get my nails done yesterday. I waited an extra week to get them done. Why? Because I could! Being that I have to wash dishes like 20 times over the course of a shift at the bar...my manicured nails were being destroyed in no time. I had to find a way to protect them from continuous water and dish soap usage. I have been using a product called Bio Gel which is absolutely amazing. I LOVE IT!!! My nails are rock solid and never chip. They look amazing for 3 weeks. Incredible! It is the best thing I could have done for them. Now...with this product...you get a very limited selection of colour. You can do a french manicure and I did do that twice now. Sort of sick of the white tips though. Have changed it up to black. Check it out!

LOL!!! Good times!!!

Well folks...I am starving. Need some breakfast ASAP and then I am off to go shopping!!! xo P

My brain is mush!

I realize that moving into your parent's house for a couple weeks sounds lovely and fun...but I want to empathically disagree. House sitting for my parents is quite the chore. It is a big house that needs to be maintained (with 2 dogs) and it requires a lot of follow-up to make sure everything is in lock down...to sooth my anxiety of someone breaking in. I struggle with being in this house by myself. Not because I am afraid to be by myself but because I worry that at any given moment, someone could break in....and I would be vulnerable. Granted the dogs are an amazing alarm system. This is one of my issues!!! This is why I live in an apartment building....5 plex. I am surrounded by people and if anything were to happen...I am confident that someone would come to my rescue...if needed. I could be totally wrong...this is my psychosis.

The dogs.....uggghhh!!! I really do love them dearly, especially my own. However, the 2 together...evil little critters. Granted they live in a very different environment from one another. Mine has gotten used to going out at 4am and will sleep with me till 10am. My parents' dog....gets up at 5:30am with my stepfather. This is very difficult to say the least. I will get home and take them out for a tinkle at 4am...and then pray that they leave me be till at least 9am. Ha!!! Ya right! Every friggin morning they get me up at 8:30 or earlier...and of course I have to let them out. Then they are super rambunctious and want to eat...so I go and get them breakfast...and of course try to go back to bed. Naturally, they want to join me. Well...this is snuggle time for them. I somehow get sandwiched between the two...which sucks. I mean...if I was well rested this wouldn't matter...but I am actually trying to get some REM sleep...and I like to spread out. So I spread myself out...and then they get comfortable in my crevices. I tend to toss and turn a lot. And so I adjust, turn over or whatever...and discover I can't move!!! GRRRRR!!!! I hate to have to push them...but that is what I end up having to do. NO FRIGGIN PEACE!!!

I  have decided that my parents come home...I am going to give them a night with the 2 nerds...and I am going to have a VERY restful sleep...till I can't sleep anymore. Good times!!

Well folks...need to get horizontal for a bit!!! Till tomorrow xo

Reality Check!!

Well folks...looks like I won't be entertaining one of my wildest dreams after all. It would seem that I didn't make it to the next level of Canada's Got Talent. I have been reading up on the website; they say that they qualified 120 people from thousands in Toronto alone. I can only imagine the talent there. I will say this however....if when watching the show, I see that they moved forward non talented people just to add drama to the show...I will be furious! BRUTAL!

I am only a little bit sad. Meh....whatever!! I always said that it was the first audition that I really cared about doing. Making it to the next level would have just been the icing on the cake.

How am I feeling today? Let me think about this. I am on the cusp of completing 200 blogs. This will be done on Monday. Wow!!! It is incredible. I have been blogging since mid January....holy shit balls....almost a year!!! I have to say I am sort of proud of myself for sticking to this thing. It really does bring my happiness and peace. Need it!

Today is Tuesday. Wonderful! I have to work tonight and I can only ask my angels to make tonight even a hint better than last night. Uggghhh! It was so dead...I was struggling to stay awake.

There is one thing happening today that is seriously going to lift my spirits....and that is shopping for flights to Argentina!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! So so so happy....I can't wait!!!

Well folks...that all she wrote for today! xo P

Happy Monday!

I have to say...I feel like I am on a bit of a vacation myself cause my mom (a.k.a boss) is gone till Sunday. I have maintained my productivity...but have definitely maximized on the free moments here and there. Good times!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was action packed as usual. My kick ass nephew celebrated his 3rd birthday on Saturday. He got so many amazing gifts...can't wait to spend some time with him and his new toys. I absolutely love spending time with my family. Such amazing people. Man....I am lucky!!!

This weekend was a bit of a sentimental one. After the my nephew's bday party, I went out with a friend...a friend who is a bff to one of my bffs. Does that make sense? LOL Let's just call him #3. I met him through my bff. We have really gotten to expand on our friendship and since...have really come to be sort of tight. YAY!!!  Not only did I do some partying with him Saturday night....also hung out low key with him at his new pad last night. Cool dude! I told him...getting to hang out with him....sort of feels like I am hanging out with my bff...the one reminds me of the other. It is a great feeling! I think he said the same! The great man who brought us together now lives in B.C. I miss him dearly...but thankfully...he manages to stay in touch. Had a lengthy chat with him yesterday....so great to hear he is doing well...and coming home for Christmas!! YAY! Can't wait!

I was also in the presence of another bff for pretty much the whole day yesterday. Had such a great day/night!

Now....it is back to the real world and to the grind of my future business. LOVIN IT!!!

Side note; I still haven't heard anything from Canada's Got Talent....but I read on the website to hang tight...could be waiting right up till the 15th. So...there is still hope! Fingers crossed people!!! PLEASE!!!

Another side note; I am hitting my 200 posts by the end of the week!!!! SO CRAZY!!!!

Had to go there!

I know I said I don't talk about political matters. I don't like sharing my thoughts on such issues. However...there are very few issues that really make my blood boil and these issues...I can't stay quiet about.

I wouldn't even be bringing it up but it seems that I have been blasted by it over the past 2 days....for some odd reason and now...I can't stop thinking about it and I need to express myself.

It started yesterday with a post on Facebook from a friend. It was a picture with a very short short blurb about what the image was about. The image was horrifying. The blurb was nothing less! Naturally, I reacted to what I saw and rightfully so. However, a friend of mine who is prone to having full insight on most issues...pitched in the full story!! Thank you! I went from vomiting in my mouth....to simply shaking my head. Not because the actuality of the situation was any different but rather the circumstance had changed! I was not surprised in learning of the circumstance.

Now before I get into what the whole event was about....I want to say this; I am NOT discussing the topic of Pit Bulls. I am discussing the topic of human brutality.

I just read yesterday's Globe & Mail newspaper today. Inside the front page they do a sort of history reflection...and yesterday's reflection was this:
"Sputnik 2 Carries First Dog into Orbit"
In 1957, the Soviet space program decided to send a dog out to do a man's job or...to test the waters so to speak. They picked up a stray dog...and sent her to space. After 7 hours she died of panic and overheating! I am sorry....but WTF is that? Ok...I am not stupid and I not naive. I know that we use animals for everything as a prequel to what we do and what we use ourselves but common. What did they think would happen? They took a stray dog....that has been roaming the streets...having to survive...scavenging for food and shelter. This poor thing was in lock down for 7 hours in an enclosure that is illegal by today's standards. This makes me very angry. Today...lab animals are bred in captivity, are provided food and shelter and know nothing about a normal life. This is the animal they should have used. An animal that is totally familiar with closed spaces, familiar with lab practices. Please...don't think I am condoning any of this....but if they have to....let's be humane about the whole thing.

So there was yesterday's Facebook post re; the pittie that got shot because its foster parent is a complete loser followed by this article about the poor poor dog that suffered and died in agony, pain, discomfort, fear, anxiety, stress...uggghhhhh...makes me very very very upset.

The third element to provoke my rage was a customer at my bar last night. He was talking to another customer about her cats. I didn't grasp the context of their conversation until he asked me if I had any pets. I told him I did! He asked me what kind of owner I was. At first I didn't understand what he meant....but just to be clear on all levels....I told him I would go to jail for my dog; as in...if anyone laid a hand on my dog in any negative manner....I would seriously hurt them or even kill them. This upset my customer...and very much so. Please...a side note here....he was very drunk. He started ripping me a new asshole...saying I am a heartless person because there are people starving in the world and are deprived of water. How dare I have an animal, give it the basics of life to live....when there are people dying of dehydration and malnutrition.

Oh noodles!! Being that he was drunk...and we barely know each other...I told him to go home. If I was an asshole....I could tell him stop drinking booze like a fish and spending hundreds of dollars at the bar on alcohol. But...I took the high road. I will say that I could have easily gotten into it with him. That wouldn't have been the right way to go.

These 3 events....has left me feeling terrible about how we humans handle animals in every way. We have a responsibility. I don't care what you say! WE DO!!! I strongly believe that there should be rules to owning animals. There should be laws governing who can own and who can not. If you don't have a job and in turn have no money....you shouldn't own a dog. If you have a criminal record of any kind....you should not own an animal. No one should be able to breed an animal unless you have a license to do so. Pet insurance should be the law. Finally...every animal owner should be obligated to watch 10 episodes of the Dog whisperer....because he is an angel for the animal kingdom and as such...wants you the owner to enjoy your pet as you were meant to. He enables you...the owner to communicate with you animal so that you are in a peaceful, loving and happy environment...the best place to be!

If I have offended anyone...I apologize in advance! I have seen some bad shit in my time (working in the veterinary business) and I have experienced some really really incredible things as a dog owner. I have a place in my heart for all animals...especially my own. All I ask is this.....let us please show the animal kingdom the respect is deserves. I am love with people who work relentlessly for this cause. More power to you! For those of you who defy this...well....there is that saying....Karma is a bitch! So...good luck with that!

Huh!!!

I had such a crazy dream this morning. It was broken up by my awakening from the dogs. The dream was normal until I got up to let them out. I wanted to get back to that dream so I quickly let them out and immediately went back to bed. Luckily....my dream came right back. I was working at my bar and it was a Thursday; Karaoke night. It looked different than it actually does. Not too sure what the symbolizes. So...it is early in the evening, not too many people there...just a few regulars. Then as time passes, more and more people are coming in. People I don't recognize.

Where things got super crazy was when I was taking an order from one guy...I couldn't for the life of me make out what he was asking for with the first drink. I simply couldn't hear him. I asked him to repeat himself like 4 times and still nothing. I managed to hear the next 2 orders; vodka cranberry and 3 'amazing' caesars. No problem. I was thinking to myself...I will make up the first drink and all will be well. So there I go.....to make those drinks and then I notice there are like 10 people behind the bar. WTF? I work alone! Who are these people and where do they come from? Then I stop and take a look around and notice that there are a lot of people in the bar...but they are not patrons. They are doing things like putting the chairs on the table, dismantling things, taking things apart, bringing in new equipment...WEIRD!!!

I stop what I am doing because I figure what the hell is going on....obviously the bar is closing for the night. I asked if there was still going to be karaoke....to which the reply was no. Then I see this woman and she is letting all the patrons out and telling them there the bar is closed for the rest of the week due to renovations. Ha!!!! So messed up. Then....finally I was notified that there is new management and that I am fired. Ha!!! Being very upset about the situation, I spoke to who I guess is the new manager or owner. She explained the situation to me. I asked her if I could keep my job but not as a bartender but rather a server. She asked me why; I said that I was not up to par for providing the service that this new bar would need. It was to become a high end martini cocktail bar. I have never been asked to make a martini or specialty cocktail at my bar...so it is not my forte. I explained this to her. She laughed and said she needed a minute and left. She came back and said that I still have a job and that I could start with Saturdays serving. YAY!!! Neither of us spoke of this during our conversation....but she knew my mom and I gathered that is why she made an effort to hook me up.

This was my dream!

Now....this could mean a billion things. But seeing as I was troubled going to bed and woke up troubled because of this whole friend issue....my perception on the meaning of this dream and how it applies to my troubles is this:

Something is going to take me out of my comfort zone. Does not matter what it is! I was in a comfort zone with this friend and something took me out of it. Instead of taking it to a dark place, work with it and redefine the situation...once the dust has settled as my reader commented this morning.

Ok!!! I am game! Let us see where this goes! xo P

Blah!

I wasn't going to write today. I was going to take the day off. I gave myself an official F*** Off Day!!! I managed to stay offline most of the day until I got a text about half an hour ago from a bff asking me if I was alright. She was worried because I hadn't posted a blog today nor had I been on Facebook at all. LOL!!! No worries Sunshine! I am alive!

It is 11pm and I just got back from having a wonderful evening with a wonderful friend. Uggghhhh, man am I lucky to have the few brilliant friends that I do!!! I picked her up at her work and then we went for Sushi on Bloor. YUMMMMY!!! This was followed by a cocktail at a kick ass bar across the street. This kind of evening brings me back to what I liked about Toronto. Good times!!!

Now, I just got back to my parent's place cause I am house sitting and I figure...hey, let's check out Facebook. Well...wasn't that a bad idea! Of course I got a very unpleasant message from a 'friend'. This is one of the friends I was discussing during yesterday's blog. I don't know why I am surprised that I got this kind of message. Most people don't like being called out on their shit, nor do people like being told that they fucked up. Now...I am not going to paint myself in a pretty picture. My flaw is that I hoard my negative emotions and bottle them up until I simply can not contain it anymore. This is one of those occasions. I have bottled up some negative emotions when it comes to this person and with the 2 events that took place over the past week, this threw me over the edge...yesterday was D-Day! I can totally appreciate that this person is going through an extremely tough time...fair enough. However...it is completely uncool that I witnessed these 2 events take place and then this person has the audacity to tell me that I am being selfish....well...that just tells me that I was never really an important person to her and I should take the hint and walk away.

So...that is what I am going to do! Maybe this has been my fault the whole time. I always knew that I was giving more than I could ever receive from this person. She even told me " you were always a better friend than I was"! I should have taken that as a sign. Uggggh!!!! I feel gross and angry right now. I have invested 16 years into this friendship. FUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!!

Lots on my mind!!!

Of course, as usual, I have about a zillion things on my mind. If I were to share in bullet form, that would still be a VERY long blog. I will have to prioritize for you!

I am in a great mood today. Not too sure why!! Nothing exceptional has happened. I guess the ickiness from the weekend is fading. YAY!!!

I have 2 friends that have struck a nerve with me. They definitely don't know this because I haven't shared with them but how can they not know that they have disrespected me...that would be total and utter ignorance. One the one hand I shouldn't be upset because this is very typical behavior of them but on the other hand, I am getting tired of making excuses for their caca behavior. Uggghh!!!

I think I am short of patience stemming from the bar. Here is a statistic for you; only 1 in 4 people tip. I have reached the limit to my patience with these people. I MUST devise a plan to expose them. All I can think of is what Amy Adams did in the movie The Fighter. She had a cow bell that she would ring if someone didn't tip. I WANT THAT!!!!! I like this idea very much but...I really would be ringing that bell way too often...more than I think I could handle. Mind you, people just might get the hint and start tipping just to avoid the sound of the bell. Anyone have any other ideas? Please....do share!

Back to this friend business; I know I recently blogged about having some of the dearest friends ever and that I am super fortunate. I still stand by this. I have however been reminded that there are a few bad apples in the crowd and by bad I mean...ones that don't even come close to giving me what I give them. I am getting to an age where my free time is running low as is everyone else's BUT I will not tolerate going the extra mile for them (as I always have) just to get neglected or shafted. I don't have the time or patience to sustain these friendships anymore. I really need to do some mind f***ing to train myself not to care and just let them be. It is very sad actually!

Uggggh.....ok!! I am no longer in a good mood! xo P

YUCK!!!!

Am I thankful this weekend is over? Absolutely!!! Ugggghhhh....I still feel yucky about it! Friday night I had to work, nothing eventful there. Saturday was a special day all around. Sunday was about trying to forget about Saturday. Good times....NOT!

Due to the events that occurred on Saturday, my plan of action for the day repeatedly changed. I am not going to get into what was supposed to happen and what took place that changed my whole plan. I am just going to say this....the final outcome was less than satisfactory. In fact, it was BRUTAL!!!! I would share with you what actually transpired...but I honestly get sick to my stomach during the reflection. So forget about that!

Once again, please forgive the ambiguity.

This is a big week. Lots happening! Tonight I have to work. I wish I didn't have to. I would love nothing more than to go with my nephew trick or treating. He is going to be a firefighter. I already saw a picture of him in his outfit....the cutest thing EVER!!! I get to see of my bff's on Wednesday....YAY!!!! Miss her terribly! Get to see another one of my bff's on the weekend. Miss her tons too! The rest of the time is all about work! Work work work!! Good times!!!

Could really use a vacation!!! Uggghhhh! xo P

Coincidence? Fate? Destiny?

Hmmmm!!!! I am supersitious. I do believe in fate. I feel like coincidence is the nucleus of something greater. Maybe I am just a typical woman who wants to believe that things happen for a reason. I don't care either way!

The stream of events that have occured and are occuring as we speak are just too FRIGGIN CRAZY!!!!!

In fact...my jaw has fallen to the floor and I am seriously struggling to get my composure. I kind of just want to scream out loud! I can feel vibrations through my body and it isn't as a result of anything intoxicating.

It is taking me a very long time to write this blog. WICKED ADD!!!!

Ok...I need to focus....be serious for a minute!!!! I really can't get into the details right now. I really really wish I could but in my gut I know that I just need to ride this out first.

Let's just say this; either the world is testing me with yet another lesson about life or my angels are throwing me a bone. I won't know for awhile yet.

Forgive my ambiguity. Ugggghhhh, this has been the least productive blog I have ever written. I have so so so much to say and can't say are darn thing.....grrrr!!! Don't take it personal....no one gets to hear my thoughts right now. Not even....I was going to say my mom.....but I am for sure going to tell me my mom....and that's it!

Have a great weekend world!!! Catch you on the flip side! xo P

So much love!

Life is good! Scratch that....life is great!!

I was never one to have major complaints even when things were supremely brutal. I have always had a great life. I just made some really bad decisions that complicated matters and of course...I was my own worst enemy. Things have changed. I guess that is part of getting older, wiser and smarter.

Since I have moved out on my own, my life has been incredible. I literally wake up smiling and go to bed smiling. I am thankful for everyday and everyday I say my thanks to the universe for being so kind to me and for its generosity.

I know I have expressed a number of times that I have many angels present in my life. I will say Thank You to them. But...today, I want to say Thank You to my many dear dear friends. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!! I was in the presence of 2 of them last night. They are a couple and the guy has been a close friend of mine for 5 years. His girlfriend has become a close friend of mine over the past couple years. She is absolutely delightful. I went downtown to meet them for dinner. I haven't seen them since April for her birthday. For 2.5 hours...we were catching up, having laughs and celebrating his birthday as well as their engagement. SO EXCITING!!!! I am beside myself with joy and happiness that they are getting married. Again....so exciting!!! I was driving home and thinking....how lucky am I to have friends like these? How lucky am I to have all the friends that I do have? I am truly the happiest and luckiest person alive.

Today I want to say....THANK YOU to all of you who enrich my life with your friendships. I am touched and full of gratitude for sharing yourselves with me. I love you all dearly!!!

I also want to take a minute here to wish the most important person on the planet a Happy Birthday....

MOM....Happy Birthday!!! You have been a pillar of stability and strength in my life. I am the person I am today because of you! You are my peace and my power. I love you more than words can say!!

I hope you have a brilliant day!!!

xo P