BIG FAT GRIN........lol!!!

I am smiling and laughing as I am writing to you today. For those of you who know me well...you might be wondering how this can be! Why would I say a thing like that? Well....let me explain.....

I have noticed one thing in my life; when life deals you a shitty hand and then throws something so incredible at you...it is hard to manage your emotions. On the one hand...I am glowing with contentment, excitement, happiness and overall joy from my day yesterday. I can only describe yesterday as a day full of overwhelming emotion. You are bombarded with nerves, anxiety, hope, excitement, passion and so much more. You are taken to a new level of self awareness and you are challenged in every way. Having to sit tight for 6 hours for your audition....uggghhh....I feel like they do it on purpose. During those 6 hours you ponder, you challenge, you start to re-think your actions, you worry you are doing the right thing, you worry if you have the right song choice, you doubt yourself and your capabilities, you think to yourself "who do you think you are?". You are in the company of SO many amazingly talented people...you think...OMG....what am I doing here?!. I think that was the first 2 hours.

Then...we get inside the Skydome (a.k.a Rogers Centre) and you start getting wickedly nervous and just want to remind yourself of what brought you there. Thankfully for me...I was in the company of a woman who had way more experience doing this kind of thing than I did. She was like my mentor and she actually got me to sing with her and to practise my song. I almost had a heart attack...but had she not shaken that chip off my shoulder...I don't think I would have done as well as I did! Love this girl...and her mom!

From there I feel like you go into a bit of delirium. Yes...it is true! I think by hour 4 or 5 your are so exhausted but yet....you continue to battle all of those emotions that I mentioned previously. It is exhausting....no lie! Not to mention...wearing pumps and standing for that long...is excruciating. LOL!! Oh the pain...!! My feet still hurt! LOL Anyways...we are nearing the actual audition and I swear...I am starting to change my way of thinking. I went from overly concerned for my performance to feeling like....it will be what it will be! I am who I am and if it is meant to be it is meant to be. I was so so tired by the time my actual audition came along...that all I was left with was my true nature....and a body bordering convulsions...lmao!!! I watched 4 of the 6 contestants in my group perform and that was a treat. It is humbling and rewarding all at once. You realize this is meant to be fun and you feel the warmth and love come between you and the other contestants. You have spent so much time together that you have no choice but to build a friendship with them. BEST PART!!! Then it is my turn....I get up there and I honestly had to pretend that I was looking at my customers from the bar. They make me feel safe and I feel love with them. I needed that terribly. So...I did that...and I did what I do best....charm the pants of the producer, his assistant and the chiquita filming the whole thing. I had more fun with that part than actually singing. LOL!!

BRILLIANT DAY!!!

Now....why this was and is a battle is because I was enduring something just as intense but incredibly SAD!! Mr. Fabulous and I broke up! As I said to one of my bffs yesterday....he is still Mr. Fabulous....just not Mr. Right! I am not going to go into major discussion about this because I will for sure cry and I don't want to right now! I want to enjoy the high from yesterday. I don't want to lose this moment that I have been dreaming about for FOREVER. I hope that doesn't sound horrible. I simply don't and can't think about that right now. Further more; I SHOULD really be concentrating on my re-write exam that I have this Saturday....but even that is taking a back seat to my audition yesterday.

I got to my parent's place at 6.30ish last night and immediately ate dinner. I hadn't eaten a thing all day...and was beyond hungry. I ate...ate some more and then....I felt like I was hit with a mack truck. I had to go lay down on the couch. As soon as I lay my head down....I was out for the count for 2 hours. LOL!!! I haven't been that tired in a long time. Not even my 16 hour work days are that tiring. BUT....I loved it!!! Loved it to the core of my soul. I haven't felt this great since I completed my sailing adventure across the Atlantic 8 years ago. It is amazing! Makes me think....this is something I should be doing on a more regular basis.....singing that is! Ha....I guess we'll see in 4 weeks....what the world has in store for me! In the mean time....here I come real estate industry....watch out! LOL

Peace out folks! xo P

I have a stomach ache...actually I think its my intestines!

I have been smoking since I was 13 years old. I am 31 now which means that I have been smoking for 18 years. Man....that sounds absolutely horrible. YUCK!!! Just thinking about it makes me a little sick. I have not really ever tried to attempt to quit. I still thoroughly enjoy it. Further more; it is an outlet for me. When I am stressed out, I smoke! When I am getting freaky, I smoke! When I drink, I smoke! When I need a break, I smoke! After I eat, I smoke!

Why this topic is on my mind right now and has been for a little while already....is because I think I am getting to an age where this could yield major health complications. I think if I am to seriously consider quitting, I should get on it pronto. I don't want to be a 50 year old smoker. I actually feel that smoking is counter productive to my fitness program. I love and hate it all at once! GRRRR!!! What do you do when you know you need to quit....but still love it?

Hmmmm!!!!

Now; I know I mentioned a topic yesterday that I wanted to write about today....but I think it is still a little premature to get into right now. With that said; tomorrow it will be! Sorry folks!

Here is something for you......

I have my audition tomorrow at 1pm. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It is happening folks. I am going to be singing Bonnie Raitt's Something to Talk About with NO back up music. Ha!! I had a serious laugh with my mom about 20 minutes ago about this topic. It is a little insane that I am choosing to sing with out back up music but like I once said; I couldn't get my hands on an instrumental version that I could slow down to the speed that I want to sing at. So....A Capella it will be!!! Oh ya baby!!!

So folks....by the time I write to you tomorrow....I will have completed my audition. Wish me luck!! Going to need it!

xo P

&*&^( *%$^& &@#$$^!!!!!!!

You can translate that into what ever suits you! Just know this....in my head....there are a lot of bad words floating around combined with a lot of negative emotion. This is my Monday!

First off....I want to apologize to you for not getting to write on Friday. As you know, not too many things get in the way of my writing. Instead of back tracking to enlighten you....I am just going to say one thing; this thing....that stopped me from writing to you on Friday will be completely eliminated from my life tomorrow....Tuesday....by 12:30pm. I have had to make an executive decision about a particular topic pertaining to what I do with my time. Now....I realize this is incredibly vague. I promise you, my blog tomorrow will be much more descript. I simply can't toot any horns or get ahead of myself. Need to settle up with one thing in order to move forward with the next. Just know....there will be peace once again in Paula's world. Ugggghhhhh......I think I am going to get hammered tonight!!! LOL Any takers?

My weekend.....what can I say about my weekend? I worked Friday night. YAY! LOL! I absolutely love working with the boss boss....the big boss....not the little one....the 5'0 China boy that plays pool, sits with the customers on the patio and takes as many smoke breaks as the customers that are drinking all night....at my expense. My big boss....is a saint of a man. I love him! He loves me! Although there is a major communication barrier, (he speaks Mandarin and only Mandarin) it's all good in the hood! We seem to get by on hand signals alone! LMAO!!!  Saturday I slept quite a bit....surprisingly. Then....I went to Toronto to visit with one of my bffs. Bless her beautiful soul....she made this absolutely incredible meal. THANK YOU!!!! Loved it all....even the rabbit...and snails!!! EKKKK! I can't believe I ate rabbit and snails. Then came Sunday! Oh Sunday.....love Sundays! I finally found the dining table of my dreams....second hand. Bought it off Kijiji. Now....it isn't flawless but it will do until I can save for a finer definition of my dream table. YAY!!! Having my first gathering this Saturday!!! Love it!

Well folks....lots of changes happening with me these days. I haven't had a manicure in ages. So desperate for one actually!! Maybe Friday! I have my exam this Saturday. I have budgeted a lot of time to study and will make sure to do so in preparation for my exam. Excited about it! Honestly? All I can think about is a smoke and a drink right now!!! UGGGHHHHHH

Peace out! xo P

Interesting......

I am sitting at my desk....and thinking about what to write today. I am not having any epiphanies or light bulbs in my head right now. For once...I haven't got anything I want or need to talk about. How about that?!

Fun facts;

I watched Source Code; the movie with Jake Gyllenhaal. It was pretty good. Not what I thought it would be but...not a let down! I think I like him a lot!! LOL

I am going to visit my accountant today. Talk about my future business as a realtor, assuming I am going to pass my exam next weekend.

I played with my blackberry so much yesterday, I drained the entire battery in 9 hours. BRUTAL!!!

I am buying a dining table on Sunday. I found the one of my dreams second hand. LOVE IT! I was going to go to Ikea or Leons and spend like $600 BUT...someone brought me to reality and I ended up finding exactly what I wanted....for $200. How about that?!! Super excited! That is the only piece missing in my home. Once that is in place; I need to go shopping for a couple things; place matts, a curtain for my bathroom, a couple pillows for the futon and a couple other little nick knacks. My very fabulous sister is also hooking me up with probably the most important element to the house; a wine rack that is incorporated into a piece of furniture that is dedicated to mixing drinks. How perfect is that for me? Oy!!! Drinks at my place people!! Not too mention, an entire set of cutlery....a serious upgrade from what I have now! Man....it feels like Christmas! LOL

Well folks...just another day in Paula Land! Peace out! xo P

Here we go folks.....AUDITION TIME!!!!

By this time next week, I will be sitting in line waiting patiently but with a tremendous amount of anxiety, excitement, nervousness, I could have a mouth full of vomit, I could be fainting, I could be having heart palpitations....whatever the case may be....I will be auditioning at 1pm.

That's right folks. My time has come! I am going to be singing Bonnie Raitt's Something To Talk About with NO backup music at my audition for Canada's Got Talent. I think I can handle that! I have been singing everyday whenever I can. I got this!!!! LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I promise you, I thought the day would never come where I can actually entertain one of my wildest dreams. How many people can say they do that? I really don't know too many!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Oh wow!!!

So, on a completely unrelated note; I have to talk about this movie I saw last night! It is called Straw Dogs. What a terrible movie! It had a lot of potential but sadly, the producers, writers, directors decided to add a ton of fluff a.k.a. crap that totally ruined it. Most parts didn't make any sense. For instance, Kate Bosworth's character is jogging and she happens to be running without a bra and no shoes. I am sorry, I don't care how small your boobs are (her's are very much there!) you should ALWAYS be wearing a bra. Furthermore; who the f*** runs without shoes? Lost me there! Then there was a scene where she is raped by 2 hillbilly types and she doesn't seem to be that phased by it....and ends up going to a football game later that night. Really? Finally, towards the end (climax) these hillbillies end up going to Kate's house and there is a police officer that tries to intervene.....he gets shot dead almost immediately. Do people in the south (USA) not have any regard for authorities? Are police officers so disposable? WTF? Ugggghhhh....I think the only part that I liked is when one of the hillbillies gets a bear trap to his head! LMAO!!! AWESOME!

There you have it folks....xo P

Wow!!! I love technology!

At first I was totally avoiding upgrading/updating myself into the Blackberry/IPhone world. I knew I was going to have to get on that boat sometime thanks to my new business endeavors however, I wasn't prepared for what I was signing up for.

I am pretty quick at learning anything and so I was sure that I would catch up on how to use these tools quick times. My mom works with a blackberry...so I got to be familiar with that through her. I have a number of friends working with IPhone, so I got to be familiar with that as well.

I was very much on the fence of what to get up until a week ago. Being that I am going to be working side by side with mom, it only made sense that I would follow suit with her program. When we were doing the research with her service provider, they gave her an offer that was pretty tempting; to switch from blackberry to the IPhone. We sat on that idea for a bit. It came down to this; my mom is comfortable with her blackberry and being of the old school era, for her to have to learn an entirely different program...is a lot to ask. So....Blackberry it is!

My fabulous mom was entitled to an upgrade and so she took that. Because she was adding a new activation to her corporate account is why we got a super deal on my Blackberry 9900. Dude....it has almost the same capabilities as the IPhone; touch screen. SO SEXY!!! I LOVE IT!!! I have been updating and uploading my contact list for the past 3 hours. What a job!!! Ugghhh! But it is done now and from this point on; I get to play!! Bring it on!!

How sexy is that?!!!! Oh ya baby! LOL

xo P

Vampires, shotguns and Shawn White

I feel like I am in a constant state of exhaustion. It is so hard for me to keep my eyes open and a struggle to get my shit together. Uggggh!!!

I had a terrible nightmare last night....again! This time I was surrounded by evil vampires....not the nice ones like Edward Cullen from Twilight. My life was at risk. Thankfully....Shawn White was in my dream to save the day...lmao! He had a shotgun and would shoot the shit out these vampires. Sadly, that isn't the way to kill them. Once he blew some holes into them, he would have to go with a stake and kill them once and for all. Shawn was like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.......incredible! LOL

It was really a gory dream. It was bad enough that it woke me up and I knew I had to get out of bed to shake it off. I went to the bathroom and turned on the light. Made sure to wake up as much as I could before going back to bed. When I did go back to bed....I did my best to think about something totally unrelated. Sort of worked. I did fall back asleep.


How was everyone's weekend? I worked all weekend but still managed to sneak in some fun. First of all, my Friday night's bartending shift was the BEST non-Thursday shift EVER. I had an amazing time. Why? I had great customers. It wasn't busy but steady enough that I didn't get bored. I made money surprisingly...lol and at 1am....I started to have drinks with my patrons. Good times!!

Saturday night went to a family function. Had a blast there too. I have never seen my step uncle hammered....except for that night. What a treat!!! LOL Did some dancing by a monster bonfire....can never go wrong with that!

Yesterday...after work, met up with Mr. Fabulous and went to visit his old stomping grounds. Along the way we hit up a Blockbuster that is closing and having a blow out sale. Bought 9 movies. LOVE IT! From there had some din din and then went to go and watch a movie. It was a nice night!

Big, busy week ahead.....what else is new?!!!! xo P

Precision

For the most part, I function with clarity and a high level of efficiency. I believe it starts with the thought process. I try to organize everything in my mind so that my actions/words etc., present in an orderly fashion. Fridays are the only days that I don't function this way...and it starts with my brain. Why is that a lack of sleep can alter your cognitive abilities? Can someone explain this to me? Let's not forget that my eyes are burning and are blood red. Doesn't illicit much faith in my productivity today. Just looking at the computer screen is painful.

Random thought; so going to watch Jersey Shore over lunch!

Last night I was on fire at work. I was full of energy considering my status earlier in the day which was pretty dismal to say the least. One of my customers made a comment (which he said in a state of surprise); "man....you're fast....zip zip zip and away you go!" LOL I liked it! From the time I arrived at 6:50 till 3am....hustled like a crack dealer at the end of the month. LMAO!!! Forgive the sort of ambiguous and vulgar analogy....that was all I could come up with that even remotely resembled how I busted a move. Please remember...16 hour day followed by a 3 hour sleep leading to another 16 hour day....don't hate!

Random thought; my pinkie is still driving me mental from my boxing injury on Tuesday....grrrrr!!!

Fun fact; I GOT A BLACKBERRY YESTERDAY!!!!!!! BOLD 9900 Oh ya baby!!! I will be sharing my new number and pin # soon enough!!!

I have an action packed weekend ahead! Should be fun! Tomorrow I will be sleeping in. I will get up and get ready for an open house I am doing with my mom from 2-4 but before that....the ladies; mom, sister and I are getting a pedicure together at noon. YaY!!! After the open house....hitting up a family function at my stepbro's house. PARTY TIME!!! Love it! Sunday I will sleep in a bit and then go shopping for some outfits for work before 1pm....then another open house from 2-4. From there...Mr. Fabulous is picking me and then we're spending the afternoon watching movies and eating. LOVE IT!!!

Although exhausted....I am feeling good! I have a smile on my face and I am in great spirits.

Well wishes to all! xo P

DEFLATED!!!

It is sunny out and mildly brisk. One would think that this weather should be inspiring enough to put a smile on one's face. I guess things could be so much worse. I watched part of this movie called "Rebound" this morning about a basketball player from Harlem who was supposed to be a rock star NBA player but due to unforeseen events....took to the drugs and lost his career. He ended up doing something great in the end but the point of my thoughts here are that even though you are doing so well....obstacles can really hold you back by bringing you down emotionally. This movie didn't really lift my spirits but rather reminded me that no matter how low I am....it will never be THAT LOW!!!

Why I am in pooh spirits is because of this; I failed my exam. I do get another opportunity to re-write it. This isn't the end of the world. I really can't be upset about my failure because I didn't put all my energy into studying. I truly counted on my natural intelligence to get me through. It only got me a 70% and I needed a 75%. I guess I can take that as a good thing....seeing that if I had only studied....I would have killed it. I have booked my re-write for 2 weeks from now. I WILL STUDY and I WILL kill this exam.

I was supposed to be at the hair salon as we speak however I got a call this morning from the salon telling me that my hairdresser had a major anaphylactic reaction to something and she is in the hospital. POOH!!! I can't be mad at this either....the poor woman is in the hospital. This would have for sure lifted my spirits....but....as the angels would have it....it wasn't meant to be! I am taking it as a sign...my finances are pretty friggin tight right now...maybe its a good thing cause this appointment would have set me back $120.

I was on the phone with my dear dear friend from my real estate course last night. We chatted for a bit about the exam....he passed! He then came right out and told me not to stop writing my blogs (as I mentioned I was thinking about yesterday) LOL! Thank you darling! I think I have been feeling deflated for a couple days now. I wasn't totally shocked to find out I had failed my exam. I think my subconcious was presenting itself. I HATE failure! I despise failure. With that said; I do realize I am a bit hypocritical. On the one hand....I refuse to fail and yet on the other hand....I sort of set myself up for it. Ugghhhhh.....!!!!

I haven't told anyone about this except for my sister. My poor mom is going to be so disappointed. She has REALLY been excited about me joining her team and she has been going balls to the wall getting me set up and started. Of course this isn't wasted energy or efforts. I will pass the re-write. It just feels like such a let down. Again....I have no one to blame but myself.

It is Thursday. From this day on until Sunday...is going to be a roller coaster. So much to do and so many things happening....I won't have time to dwell on my self pity.

I have learned yet another lesson in life. Nothing comes for free or easily! DON'T F*** AROUND!!

There it is folks; Paula's world....Paula's lessons! xo P

Random

Good morning!

I have so much I want to say today....think I will put my shit in bullet points.

1. I think I am going to end my blog at 200 postings. I have 161 right now. Maybe! On the fence about it.

2. I did some much needed boxing yesterday. Used these gloves that I friggin hate and ended up hurting myself; my right wrist. Ugghhhhh.....annoying!

3. Going to check for my exam results today. Sort of scared!!!

4. Going to a movie tonight with my sister; the new one with Sarah Jessica Parker. Yay!!

5. VERY UPSET about my wrist....my pinky doesn't work...can't type....uggghhhhh

6. Getting my hair done tomorrow.....YAY!!!! Super jazzed about that. Then going to do some shopping with my mom for some clothes and...................wait for it.....................A NEW PHONE; Blackberry BOLD 9780. AHHHHH....can't wait to go to Telus to end my shit with them and to tell them once and for all.....to go screw themselves!!!! LOL

7. Had a visit with one of my bffs; not only did he share some big news....he's moving in 3 weeks to the west coast (So sad BUT he really needs this!) but that I SHOULD really get my voice recorded before singing at Canada's Got Talent. He insists that it is a critical element in preparation for the audition. Can anyone help me with this????

8.What am I going to do about my wrist????

xo P

Enlightened!

Between yesterday and this morning I have discovered something...I really absolutely have to check everyone else's work...when dealing with me. I went to the bar last night to pick up my wages and had a major discussion with my boss and his translator (LOL!) regarding a discrepancy over the inventory and what was sold. I am not saying I am perfect but...I have put my trust in my bar back guy and he has seriously let me down. Now...I have to do his job and mine. Can't trust him AT ALL!!!

Then this morning, went to the bank to desposit those wages that I got yesterday and I discover that there was an amount missing from my savings account. BRUTAL! I not only almost had a heart attack but I was very close to hurting the teller that was looking after me because we discovered it was she who misplaced my deposit last week. GRRRRRRR!!!! Of course she was able to turn the tables around and has the nerve to tell me that I signed off on the receipt acknowledging that everything was ok. It is true, I did sign that friggin piece of paper...however....I trusted that she understood my request and took it for granted that she did what I asked her to do. Now....I have to memorized my account numbers and...thoroughly review every single transaction that I make at this bank from now on. Uggghhhhh!!!!

I know that I should be getting my exam results today...but the way I am feeling right now....I really couldn't handle the possibility of failing....so I am going to hold off until tomorrow....which will hopefully be a better day!

That's it folks! Gots to get back to work....and make that friggin money that was lost! Ugghhhh!!!

LOL! xo P

Home sweet home!!!

It's been 2 weeks since I have slept in my house or done anything in there other than shower and get clean clothes. I friggin missed it terribly! I LOVE MY HOUSE!!! LOL

Of course I had to do some serious dusting and let some fresh air in....but after 2 hours of cleaning up, all was well. I slept like a baby and so did my little turd. He's been living in what seemed to me to be hysteria for 2 weeks. Imagine this; living in a permanent slumber party with your friends for 2 weeks. Wouldn' t you be totally exhausted? I would! He was!!! All is back to normal. YAY!

Speaking of being back home....I got to welcome my mom and stepdad. I picked them up from the airport yesterday.....so exciting! 2 weeks seems brief....but this was not brief. Felt like for-friggin-ever. LOL!! Missed them a lot! Great to have them home.

So I had my final real estate exam on Saturday! My dear dear friend from the course took it with me at the same time. We sort of coordinated it like that....that way when we find out that we both passed...we could celebrate together. Good times! Now....I did ask my angels to help me in any way that they could...and I believe they did. I think they gave me the exam that I needed to have in order to pass. LOL What you need to know is that no 2 exams are alike. This inhibits the ability to cheat on any level. A computer spews out a 50 question exam for a database of over 5000 questions. So, when I say my angels gave me the perfect exam....by that I mean....of the 5000 questions available....the 50 questions that I got were totally aligned with my existing knowledge, thankfully! I was totally unsuccessful with my studies and I was having a nervous breakdown in anticipation for the exam. I was suffering from a major case of ADD and I just couldn't focus. I am so thankful that this exam was right on cue with what I did learn and what I could recall. I can only hope that the results represent my confidence. It would really suck if I failed...feeling the way I do!

And....here we are! Monday! It is going to be an action packed week. Lots of things going on. As I previously mentioned....my mom is in 5th gear in terms of getting me involved in the business...which is great but a little overwhelming. I can dig it! I am finally getting my hair coloured this Thursday....couldn't be happier than a pig in shit on that account! YAY!!! Might have to celebrate that all on it's own. LOL!!

Here's to a great week.....cheers! xo P

Yo Yo Yo.....

I am sitting here...at my desk at the office staring blankly out the door that is open ajar to let some fresh air in. What a beautiful day. Warm and sunny....couldn't ask for more!

What am I thinking about?

My mom and step dad come home this Sunday! YAY!!!! So friggin excited!! Ugghhhh....can't wait to get back to my place.

My exam is tomorrow morning. Ughhhhhh!!! So friggin stressed. I can actually see the gemini in me over the past 2 days. My one brain is feeling horribly guilty for the lack of productive studying, the other brain is feeling confident and tells me to trust myself and have a little faith. Uggghhhh, don't even want to think about it really!

I can't stop thinking about my audition for Canada's Got Talent. It is taking over! I feel totally consumed by this and maybe that is why I feel especially guilty for my lack of focus in studying for my exam. Last night was Karaoke night at the bar. Of course I sang a song at the end of the night; Bonnie Raitt's Something to Talk About. There are 3 people at the bar who know I signed up for this thing. I usually get pretty awesome kudos....but last night? I was honestly shocked at the applause and kudos I got from everyone. At first I thought....maybe they know I am auditioning and are just tooting my horn....but that wasn't the case. My second thought was that they were just being nice.....but that could be the situation every Thursday. Why was last night any different? I have no idea! Who cares! I loved it!

I am so tired of looking at the gray hairs on my head. It is obscene. I have a hair appointment booked for Thursday thankfully. I have really let it go too long. On the flip side....because I can't stand to look at them...I have been sporting a different hair do and I got a lot of kudos for it last night. Go figure! LOL!!

I had my workout with my angel a.k.a trainer on Tuesday and I am still feeling the good pain in my abs. Won't complain though. Miss my 6 workouts/week terribly. Ugggghhhh....need them back!

Well folks....that is definitely not all that I have on my mind....but that is all I am willing to share at this point!

Need to refocus on my job duties! Have an amazing weekend! Peace out! xo P

Bustin a move.....

Good morning!

I am feeling pretty good about myself today....so far! It is only 11:20 and I feel so accomplished. LOL

I woke up and dealt with the little critters. Had a coffee. Went to deal with my landlord for a minute. Came home and did some major pooping and scooping in preparation for the lawn people. Once that was done got working on something for my mom. Finished that. Just finished having breakfast and now....I am ready to start studying. YAY!!!

I did do some studying yesterday. Feeling good about what I accomplished there.

I want to and have to discuss something sort of important and that is my admission into one of the most important competitions I have EVER or will EVER participate in and know this....I have competed in some pretty intense competitions. I used to be a competitive swimmer back in the day. I was pretty serious about it. Made it to junior nationals before I seriously injured myself and had to quit. Getting side tracked.....I have entered Canada's Got Talent!!!!

What you need to know about me...if you don't already...is that I love to sing! I have ALWAYS wanted to sing....my whole entire life. I just never had any balls to pursue it. How sad is that?! I am not going to lay any blame here....but my family wasn't the kind to support such an ambition. We (my sister and I) were brought up to be the academic types. Well....I have 2 diplomas and 3 careers down....I think it's time to entertain my wildest dreams. Don't you think?

The auditions are from September 23 to September 27. Wish me luck folks! xo

Going to learn Taekwondo....

Last night I went out for dinner with Mr. Fabulous. Such a treat...as usual! I love date night! After the movie we went to go see the movie Colombiana with Zoe Saldana. OMG....what a great friggin movie! I absolutely loved it!

I have to tell you....I love movies where chicks kick ass. Further more....Zoe just schooled Angelina from the Lara Coft series. Go Zoe!!!

Since I have been kicking ass with my boxing....I have been inspired and motivated to take my shit to the next level. I am so going to take some martial arts classes. I want to be ABLE to kick some serious ass. I will not be seeking out any brawls....but would feel really good about myself knowing that if the situation arose where I had to defend myself or someone else...I actually could!!!

In the movie, not only does Zoe kick ass but she also gets to shoot some pretty awesome guns. Please don't get me wrong...I am not really into guns....but then again....I guess I am. I love shooting guns. I have had the pleasure many times when I go to Argentina. My dad is a member of a gun club there that is part of the military base. Every year that I go to Buenos Aires...my dad takes me to spend the day at the gun club and we go through about 700 bullets over 6 hours or so. I can't tell you how incredible it is to do this. Such a high! Here is a pic of the guns that I have gotten to shoot so far in my life.

Here's a picture of Zoe Saldana kicking ass with a big gun....that I have no idea what kind it is! Who cares! Just looks like fun! Please don't think I am crazy! I wouldn't dream of hurting a soul....just playing with them at the shooting range is all! Just for shits and giggles....you know?!

Well folks! Its hump day! A short week is always a pleasure! Have a great day! xo P

I think I just vomited in my mouth!

So...you know when you are just trying to live your life as best you can? You are working hard, paying your bills, minding your own business and when you can...trying to have some fun? That is exactly what I am trying to do and what I have been trying to do. But....it seems that some people can't let you be.

I got a call last Friday from someone regarding something. I did know that this call would come at some point. I wasn't totally surprised. Let me rephrase...I got a call that I couldn't take at the time so I texted this person back and told them why I couldn't take their call but that they could text me what the issue was. So they did! I was sort of prepared for what I was told. Somewhere during this call and text, this person had also left a voice message. I checked that voice message 2 days later and was NOT prepared for that commentary. Without sharing too many details with you....the topic under discussion is money. Ugghhhh!!! Well...I am not saying that I don't owe this person money....I just need to know for certain how much. I am not going to take this person's word for what is outstanding...I want proof, i.e. I want to see the friggin bills. I said as much....and so typically....that opened up a can of worms. I guess...I am not allowed to ask for this cause I got a new asshole out of it.

Needless to say we did NOT come to an agreement of what is actually owed. This is where I vomited in my mouth. I have a belly full of food and I am hydrated. Why am I shaking like a leaf? This person manages to send me off the deep end in fear and anxiety....it is ridiculous.

Deep breath!!!! I am having heart palpitations in anticipation of her response.

Anyways.....hope you all have a wonderful summer.....cause its over now! LMAO!!! I am laughing because its like night and day how quickly the seasons change over a weekend. We had summer last week and it phased out into cold gloomy weather just in time for today. Wonderful!

I don't mind. I am in lock down studying the whole week for my exam on Saturday.

Hope you are all having a great day! Peace out! xo P

Ugggghhhh....it's Friday!!!

I will say one thing...knowing that I get to sleep tomorrow makes today not so terrible. I struggle terribly with working my Thursday night shift which leads into a 16 hour day on Friday....with only 3.5 hours sleep. Does that sound right to you? Not to me! I am still working on fixing this. Might need another week.

Happy Friday to the rest of you who actually love Friday. This is the last weekend of the summer. How sad is that?! I can't really say anything either way. I didn't really get much of a summer. Working 4 jobs will do that. I think the only thing I regret a little bit is not making some time to get out of town to do some sailing. I have to believe there will be other opportunities.

Here is some totally random information; for the first time in what seems like years...I am sporting NO nail polish on my finger nails or toe nails. I decided to let them breathe and I really do think that this is an excellent decision. I can feel the air pass through them....lol!! If you only knew what it means to let your nails breathe. Just saying!

I feel like my head is a pit of random thoughts today. As much as I am trying to stick to one subject...I am having great difficulties. The fact that my stepbro is blasting segments from old school game shows while he along with my office manager are laughing their asses off....totally distracting me from my writing doesn't help at all.

Well world....I hope you all have an amazing Labour Day weekend! Please be safe. Catch you on the flip side....xo P

SAD!!!

I just found out today that someone I knew 12 years ago just passed away yesterday. I didn't communicate much with this person over the past 12 years....however....when we did know each other....it was a solid friendship. I knew her in the time of my sailing days...from 1994 to 1998. I didn't always get to sail with her BUT my fondest memory was during the last summer of my sailing adventures with the Toronto Brigs. I was a petty officer and she was an officer. I don't remember how we became close during that time...maybe it was because we were both smokers and we both wanted to smoke while at sea so to speak. We were both a bit rebellious and we both fed off each other in that way. The one vision that comes to mind right now is both of us standing at the stern of the ship, we were part of the same watch (group) and we were doing the shitty shift of 12am - 4am. All of our trainees were by the bow hangin out. We both decided to light up even though we knew the repercussions of our actions. We were confident we wouldn't get caught...so there we were smoking away and having a blast. At least that is how I remember it!

Why this is especially terrible is because she battled colon cancer and it won...inside 4 months from prognosis. BREAKS MY HEART! She was only a year older than me.

We were friends on facebook for the past couple years. We did chat back and forth once in a blue moon. My sailing years have meant the world to me and everything that happened during those years from 1993 to 1998 have not only molded me as a person but have given me so much in terms of strength, power in mind and soul, brilliant friendships and I remember all of that time with such clarity and vividness. Her face is embedded in my brain for life.

I wish all of my sailing friends who new her and maintained their friendships with her....my best wishes to you and I am also sending you all my love and heart felt condolences.

RIP A. S!!!!! xo