DEFLATED!!!

It is sunny out and mildly brisk. One would think that this weather should be inspiring enough to put a smile on one's face. I guess things could be so much worse. I watched part of this movie called "Rebound" this morning about a basketball player from Harlem who was supposed to be a rock star NBA player but due to unforeseen events....took to the drugs and lost his career. He ended up doing something great in the end but the point of my thoughts here are that even though you are doing so well....obstacles can really hold you back by bringing you down emotionally. This movie didn't really lift my spirits but rather reminded me that no matter how low I am....it will never be THAT LOW!!!

Why I am in pooh spirits is because of this; I failed my exam. I do get another opportunity to re-write it. This isn't the end of the world. I really can't be upset about my failure because I didn't put all my energy into studying. I truly counted on my natural intelligence to get me through. It only got me a 70% and I needed a 75%. I guess I can take that as a good thing....seeing that if I had only studied....I would have killed it. I have booked my re-write for 2 weeks from now. I WILL STUDY and I WILL kill this exam.

I was supposed to be at the hair salon as we speak however I got a call this morning from the salon telling me that my hairdresser had a major anaphylactic reaction to something and she is in the hospital. POOH!!! I can't be mad at this either....the poor woman is in the hospital. This would have for sure lifted my spirits....but....as the angels would have it....it wasn't meant to be! I am taking it as a sign...my finances are pretty friggin tight right now...maybe its a good thing cause this appointment would have set me back $120.

I was on the phone with my dear dear friend from my real estate course last night. We chatted for a bit about the exam....he passed! He then came right out and told me not to stop writing my blogs (as I mentioned I was thinking about yesterday) LOL! Thank you darling! I think I have been feeling deflated for a couple days now. I wasn't totally shocked to find out I had failed my exam. I think my subconcious was presenting itself. I HATE failure! I despise failure. With that said; I do realize I am a bit hypocritical. On the one hand....I refuse to fail and yet on the other hand....I sort of set myself up for it. Ugghhhhh.....!!!!

I haven't told anyone about this except for my sister. My poor mom is going to be so disappointed. She has REALLY been excited about me joining her team and she has been going balls to the wall getting me set up and started. Of course this isn't wasted energy or efforts. I will pass the re-write. It just feels like such a let down. Again....I have no one to blame but myself.

It is Thursday. From this day on until Sunday...is going to be a roller coaster. So much to do and so many things happening....I won't have time to dwell on my self pity.

I have learned yet another lesson in life. Nothing comes for free or easily! DON'T F*** AROUND!!

There it is folks; Paula's world....Paula's lessons! xo P