I wasn't going to write today. I was going to take the day off. I gave myself an official F*** Off Day!!! I managed to stay offline most of the day until I got a text about half an hour ago from a bff asking me if I was alright. She was worried because I hadn't posted a blog today nor had I been on Facebook at all. LOL!!! No worries Sunshine! I am alive!
It is 11pm and I just got back from having a wonderful evening with a wonderful friend. Uggghhhh, man am I lucky to have the few brilliant friends that I do!!! I picked her up at her work and then we went for Sushi on Bloor. YUMMMMY!!! This was followed by a cocktail at a kick ass bar across the street. This kind of evening brings me back to what I liked about Toronto. Good times!!!
Now, I just got back to my parent's place cause I am house sitting and I figure...hey, let's check out Facebook. Well...wasn't that a bad idea! Of course I got a very unpleasant message from a 'friend'. This is one of the friends I was discussing during yesterday's blog. I don't know why I am surprised that I got this kind of message. Most people don't like being called out on their shit, nor do people like being told that they fucked up. Now...I am not going to paint myself in a pretty picture. My flaw is that I hoard my negative emotions and bottle them up until I simply can not contain it anymore. This is one of those occasions. I have bottled up some negative emotions when it comes to this person and with the 2 events that took place over the past week, this threw me over the edge...yesterday was D-Day! I can totally appreciate that this person is going through an extremely tough time...fair enough. However...it is completely uncool that I witnessed these 2 events take place and then this person has the audacity to tell me that I am being selfish....well...that just tells me that I was never really an important person to her and I should take the hint and walk away.
So...that is what I am going to do! Maybe this has been my fault the whole time. I always knew that I was giving more than I could ever receive from this person. She even told me " you were always a better friend than I was"! I should have taken that as a sign. Uggggh!!!! I feel gross and angry right now. I have invested 16 years into this friendship. FUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!!
3 comments:
Blah.... blah blah... just my opinion , but i have ended a decade or longer relationship before with a friend. It really sucked, but sometimes we outgrow friendships when they no longer fit our lives. And sometimes it is for the best. Any friend that is true, will always be a friend. Even if that means redefining the friendship when the dust settles. I realize I cannot expect my friends to validate me, or even be there all the time when I need them. I am my best friend. As you are yours. I applaud you not taking shit from people. Good for you!
Michelle, I really appreciate your thoughts. Thank you for sharing. I really hope that this is a situation where we simply redefine the friendship...once the dust settles, rather than end it completely. I will keep my hopes up for this. I love her dearly and although she has offended me greatly, I know that I can forgive and move past...if she only would be humble and address my concern. We'll see!
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